It was one of those forced moments before church where they tell everyone to say hello to a stranger. I picked Russell to my left. We talked hometowns and football and had a testosterone filled handshake. It was a nice exchange.
As an uncle, I've witnessed my share of moments with children under the age of 4, where the youngin doesn't know how to explain themselves and the needs they have. Our ingrained prepubescent reaction in these moments is to cry. We, grown-ups, handle it differently.
In the said emotional toddler moments, the parents or elders will instruct: "Use your words". This being, if the child is of the vocabulary age. As an app-centric culture though, we often forget this simple advice as we age.
I've started going places on my own more often. Brunch, church, coffee, neighborhood walks etc. In these solo adventures, I've tried to really focus on interactions with my surroundings. I'll make a comment on someone's logo on their shirt, I'll genuinely ask more people how their day is going, heck I'll even talk about the weather from time to time. Additionally, I've tried to observe the overall pulse around me. People's body language at a table across the room, the ambient noise of the restaurant and unfortunately the screen addiction of our current society.
In Dale Carnegie's book "How to Win Friends and Influence People", he states that a person's favorite word is their own first name and if you want someone to remember and like you, use their favorite word.....often.
There's a rundown corner mart that I frequent to buy life's necessities, gas and beer. On occasion, there is a decent line as the teller runs through transactions. A majority of the purchasers don't even say a word to the person taking their money. So my new found goal isn't even about the petrol I'm buying, it's to engage and have a brief conversation with the gentleman behind the counter. His reaction usually lets me know that it's a breath of fresh air for him to actually converse.
We can do this in most public settings, we just get caught up in own worlds so much, we forget there are other humans around us. Give it a whirl next time you're out and about. The grocery, a restaurant, church, the restroom (situation dependent), there's opportunities sprinkled throughout your day. Your goal shouldn't be to make friends with them, just use the language you both know. It'll give both parties involved a little spark of energy.
Technology is awesome, but don't let it strain your neck. Look up from time to time and use your words. Yep.
New in my life: Hunting goals and self-worth are not close cousins thankfully. Pocket dials and #1 songs are my cholesterol. Free agency.
Keep smilin'
Joe
Thursday, November 22, 2018
Thursday, July 26, 2018
Hot Pockets are Commercialized Empanadas
There's a common practice in Judaism that believers are buried with their feet facing the entrance of the cemetery. This thought is when the Savior returns, their body will be resurrected and they will be ready to head back to Israel, the Promised Land. In the vicinity of Israel, tombs are aligned in the same way to face a certain direction in hopes of being first in line.
I've heard of exercises deemed as healthy to write your own eulogy at a young, healthy age. This practice will bring to the surface what core values you want to portray. You also can get credits in college for courses where part of your grade includes designing your own will. Boyscout mentality eh? Always be prepared.
I'd say 99% of my friends I would speak nothing but high regards for when asked to describe them. But I have a handful of friends I constantly find myself saying "He's a great guy but on occasion lacks bedside manner." This, of course, referring to their abrasiveness in certain social situations.
Logistically, I'm not in the parenting world yet, but as an award-winning uncle, I've developed a couple of humble opinions about what is important to teach your children. The two common denominators I've found that pay off are: 1. Self Awareness 2. The ability to make friends quickly. Now there is a multitude of equations and variables that can lead someone astray in their career as a human, but I believe with a foundation of those two lessons, you're setting your brood up for an easier time on earth.
One of the biggest fears we face is loneliness. It's up there with public speaking, death, and clowns. We're built for community and companionship. Heck, the fear of loneliness combined with love is what keeps this hominid thing going.
How we process loneliness is what I believe is evolving. A while back, I developed this bad habit of when I found myself lonely or bored, I would pick up my phone to subdue the feeling. Whether it was a social media or my email, it made that empty feeling go away. Short term band-aid.
These days when I get lonely, I face the isolated emotion head on and force my brain to tackle it. Subconsciously, it forces my thoughts to process it and move on instead of filling the void with a newsfeed or profile. Disclaimer: I don't hate social media. I think Netflix and Instagram are great to give your thoughts a break. I just don't condone making it a habit every time you stop at a stop light. Force your intellect.
To circle back from a tangent, being lonely is normal. Friends and loved ones help prevent the feeling. How to make friends: work on your bedside manner. It's not just for doctors and nurses, it's how you treat strangers and peers. Love on people.
Because when we have the people we love at our bedside, we're going to wish we had our own bedside manner throughout our tenure on this big blue and green globe. Yep.
New in my life: JOMO (Joy of missing out) was an acronym built for me. There's always a reason to grow the mustache. October or bust.
Keep smilin'
JM
I've heard of exercises deemed as healthy to write your own eulogy at a young, healthy age. This practice will bring to the surface what core values you want to portray. You also can get credits in college for courses where part of your grade includes designing your own will. Boyscout mentality eh? Always be prepared.
I'd say 99% of my friends I would speak nothing but high regards for when asked to describe them. But I have a handful of friends I constantly find myself saying "He's a great guy but on occasion lacks bedside manner." This, of course, referring to their abrasiveness in certain social situations.
Logistically, I'm not in the parenting world yet, but as an award-winning uncle, I've developed a couple of humble opinions about what is important to teach your children. The two common denominators I've found that pay off are: 1. Self Awareness 2. The ability to make friends quickly. Now there is a multitude of equations and variables that can lead someone astray in their career as a human, but I believe with a foundation of those two lessons, you're setting your brood up for an easier time on earth.
One of the biggest fears we face is loneliness. It's up there with public speaking, death, and clowns. We're built for community and companionship. Heck, the fear of loneliness combined with love is what keeps this hominid thing going.
How we process loneliness is what I believe is evolving. A while back, I developed this bad habit of when I found myself lonely or bored, I would pick up my phone to subdue the feeling. Whether it was a social media or my email, it made that empty feeling go away. Short term band-aid.
These days when I get lonely, I face the isolated emotion head on and force my brain to tackle it. Subconsciously, it forces my thoughts to process it and move on instead of filling the void with a newsfeed or profile. Disclaimer: I don't hate social media. I think Netflix and Instagram are great to give your thoughts a break. I just don't condone making it a habit every time you stop at a stop light. Force your intellect.
To circle back from a tangent, being lonely is normal. Friends and loved ones help prevent the feeling. How to make friends: work on your bedside manner. It's not just for doctors and nurses, it's how you treat strangers and peers. Love on people.
Because when we have the people we love at our bedside, we're going to wish we had our own bedside manner throughout our tenure on this big blue and green globe. Yep.
New in my life: JOMO (Joy of missing out) was an acronym built for me. There's always a reason to grow the mustache. October or bust.
Keep smilin'
JM
Monday, April 2, 2018
Character can be Contagious
Hello, dear reader. Its Joe’s friend from the West again, who hasn’t written a blog in nearly a year.
Thank you for welcoming me back with open arms; it’s good to be here again! I’m brushing off my
blogging chops, because I’m approaching the one-year anniversary of a personal event that has caused me a considerable amount of reflection, and something I wanted to share with the masses on some medium...so thought I’d take this up with the editor in chief and get it out there.
About a year ago, I lost my grandpa. Behind my dad, he was the man I respected most in my life. He set an example of what it is to work hard, love and support his family, and care for everything from his grandkids to a newborn calf born on a cold night in February. He didn’t teach by telling, he taught by doing. My grandpa instructed me on things like how to drive a tractor, how to rake hay, and how to build fence; but never implicitly taught me how to listen, how to work from dawn till dusk, or how to embrace someone to know that they are cared for – he simply exuded that in the way that he lived.
Learning through that example is easy. Living it can be another thing altogether.
Following his passing, it was easy to see how loved and respected he was by his family and community. The endless flow of people at his wake praising his character and the man that he was brought this to clear light. But at no point in my grandpa’s life did he wake up and say, “I’m going to be a good, respectable man today.” It’s simply the way he lived his life.
It’s unfortunate that sometimes it takes losing someone to make these realizations. I’d like to think that I do my best to emulate my grandfather in my interactions with people. I’d like to think that I’ll be as warm and caring for my children and grandchildren the way he was with me, my siblings and cousins. I hope that I could do all this without any conscious effort, the way it came so naturally to him. But that can be a difficult task day in and day out, and even more so now that he’s passed on.
However, even without him here anymore, he’ll remain an example of the best in human nature and a guide for me as I move forward in my life. I say this because I wasn’t always that good on reflecting on what I have now until it was gone. Even though in my heart of hearts I knew everything I just wrote before my grandpa passed, it’s important to take stock of the people in your life.
Giving appreciation to the people who help mold who you are isn’t always top of mind when those people are still here in the present. But it’s the first thing you think about when they aren’t around. Knowing who those people are and how they shape your character can be invaluable as you continue to progress through life. Take advantage of it while you can.
New in my life: its darn near porch beer season, science is a real bitch, do not hesitate to ask for the
things you want.
Travis Arp is a world traveler and meat mastermind. When he's not strolling the streets of Shanghi, he enjoys a crafty beer in the mountains outside of Denver. Find him on the insta @drtarp
Keep smilin'
#goATlife
Thank you for welcoming me back with open arms; it’s good to be here again! I’m brushing off my
blogging chops, because I’m approaching the one-year anniversary of a personal event that has caused me a considerable amount of reflection, and something I wanted to share with the masses on some medium...so thought I’d take this up with the editor in chief and get it out there.
About a year ago, I lost my grandpa. Behind my dad, he was the man I respected most in my life. He set an example of what it is to work hard, love and support his family, and care for everything from his grandkids to a newborn calf born on a cold night in February. He didn’t teach by telling, he taught by doing. My grandpa instructed me on things like how to drive a tractor, how to rake hay, and how to build fence; but never implicitly taught me how to listen, how to work from dawn till dusk, or how to embrace someone to know that they are cared for – he simply exuded that in the way that he lived.
Learning through that example is easy. Living it can be another thing altogether.
Following his passing, it was easy to see how loved and respected he was by his family and community. The endless flow of people at his wake praising his character and the man that he was brought this to clear light. But at no point in my grandpa’s life did he wake up and say, “I’m going to be a good, respectable man today.” It’s simply the way he lived his life.
It’s unfortunate that sometimes it takes losing someone to make these realizations. I’d like to think that I do my best to emulate my grandfather in my interactions with people. I’d like to think that I’ll be as warm and caring for my children and grandchildren the way he was with me, my siblings and cousins. I hope that I could do all this without any conscious effort, the way it came so naturally to him. But that can be a difficult task day in and day out, and even more so now that he’s passed on.
However, even without him here anymore, he’ll remain an example of the best in human nature and a guide for me as I move forward in my life. I say this because I wasn’t always that good on reflecting on what I have now until it was gone. Even though in my heart of hearts I knew everything I just wrote before my grandpa passed, it’s important to take stock of the people in your life.
Giving appreciation to the people who help mold who you are isn’t always top of mind when those people are still here in the present. But it’s the first thing you think about when they aren’t around. Knowing who those people are and how they shape your character can be invaluable as you continue to progress through life. Take advantage of it while you can.
New in my life: its darn near porch beer season, science is a real bitch, do not hesitate to ask for the
things you want.
Travis Arp is a world traveler and meat mastermind. When he's not strolling the streets of Shanghi, he enjoys a crafty beer in the mountains outside of Denver. Find him on the insta @drtarp
Keep smilin'
#goATlife
Sunday, February 18, 2018
Eggs are Better Sunny than Runny
Life is happy for a while. Then life is sad for a while. Then it gets happy again. It’s a simple cycle we always try to make more complex. We, humans, were not built to be comfortable. We were not built to be automatically happy. From the moment we are born, we ride the struggle bus. But just because we are not copyrighted for happiness, doesn’t mean that we can’t ingrain ourselves to keep on the sunny side. You’ve heard it from every preacher and speaker living in a van down by the river, that being happy is a choice. People who choose to be happy, make themselves that way. But generally making your life happy as a whole is a big apple to swallow, so let's start with a bite.
I’m not saying it’s a simple thing. Like I said, we are not programmed to be happy. But just like a lot of notions, when done enough, you form a habit. That choice to be happy I speak of isn’t just a general choice. It’s something you can make every time you get the opportunity to wake up from that 8-hour nocturnal nap. And if you don’t take those naps, ease up on the uppers.
Really, our days are a crapshoot. As scheduled as some of us may be, we can’t predict the smoothness of the day nor if we are going to see the end of it. Every day is a roulette of circumstances, but how you endure those circumstances is what sets each of us apart as individuals.
What I’m talking about is being happily resilient to the happenings of life. Tire flat when you get to your car? Eat that problem for breakfast. News pumping out all the depressing dramatics? Ignore it and spread the love. Gossip in the workplace? Talk about the weather instead.
The resiliency I speak of isn’t neutrality. Life will be boring if you don’t take a stand on issues or react to current events. The call to action here though is to positively respond to the shade life throws at you. And history shows that it will throw shade.
Being our species isn’t easy. We wade through a barrage of problem-solving to make a little coin, own some things and God willing, extend our lineage. Then we die. Don’t interpret that as sad, it’s factual. Everyone does it. So why not make your story one full of happiness and laughs?
Your life’s resume starts with a daily choice whether you are going to be happy or not despite whatever circumstances you’re faced with. Yep.
New in my life: Ephesians 2 is a goodin'. I'm crafting wagon wheels and gearing up the oxen. Taking applications for a canoe partner.
Keep smilin'
#goAtLIFE
Saturday, January 27, 2018
You'd Better have a Good Sense of Humor or a Bad Memory
Chicken Little: Listen to me, everybody! I’m your new leader! I’m gonna save your lives! I’m gonna tell you what to do!
Cocky Locky: Don’t listen to that pipsqueak. The sky isn’t falling.
Chicken Little: I tell ya it is too falling!
Cocky Locky: And I tell you it isn’t.
Chicken Little: Is too!
Cocky Locky: All right, if the sky is falling why doesn’t it hit me in the head?
(Foxy Loxy hits Cocky Locky with a piece of wood)
Hen: Chicken Little is right! What do we do? Oh, Chicken Little, you’ve got to help us!
We live in a time of chaos. You know who else did though? The Romans. The founding fathers did as well. And so did the people that lived in the 1970's. As did the humans that endured WWII. Okay, you get my point. Every generation has their own version of the world ending. As special and 'doom and gloom' the media would like us to think our current events are, life's not too shabby.
I'm transitioning into a living situation without a tv and I couldn't be more excited about it. I try and stay off social media as well these days. When I do a cost-benefit analysis of living under a rock, my life financial sheets are still in the black. Sure there will be conversations where I don't know what actors people are talking about and there are some grandiose news stories that I'll have to catch up on when I'm talking to the outside world, but I'm quite okay with that.
There's so much pressure these days to be social and to appear happy. We're driven by 'likes' and knowing what everyone is doing 24/7. It's quite addicting. I've fallen prey at times of being consumed by it.
I love having a piece of chocolate with my coffee. It's something I'm planning on carrying into my old age. I'm pumped to be a grandpa. I also love a good piece of cheesecake or pie. These tasty luxuries fit well into celebratory moments, but especially as my gallbladder ages, I know these are empty calories and I can't survive on sugar alone. I need some meat and potatoes to keep me fueled.
In all this rambling my point is that social media, sensational news and seeking affirmation from an app, are empty calories. They're fun and can be fun to talk about, but once you burn through them you're going to needs some values, morals and hobbies that make up the meat and potatoes of your personality. Yep.
I know this can sound like a "get off my lawn" speech, but as I'm sitting listening to vinyl records and drinking an Old Fashion with my phone outside of my reach, I hope it's a small reminder for you to not get caught up in surface level happenings just because they're popular. Row your own boat.
New in my life: You can run, but you can't Hyde, godchild 2.0 is here to take over the world. You name the babies, I'll name the dogs. My social sphere has been dieting.
Keep smilin'
#goAtLIFE
JM
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