It was one of those forced moments before church where they tell everyone to say hello to a stranger. I picked Russell to my left. We talked hometowns and football and had a testosterone filled handshake. It was a nice exchange.
As an uncle, I've witnessed my share of moments with children under the age of 4, where the youngin doesn't know how to explain themselves and the needs they have. Our ingrained prepubescent reaction in these moments is to cry. We, grown-ups, handle it differently.
In the said emotional toddler moments, the parents or elders will instruct: "Use your words". This being, if the child is of the vocabulary age. As an app-centric culture though, we often forget this simple advice as we age.
I've started going places on my own more often. Brunch, church, coffee, neighborhood walks etc. In these solo adventures, I've tried to really focus on interactions with my surroundings. I'll make a comment on someone's logo on their shirt, I'll genuinely ask more people how their day is going, heck I'll even talk about the weather from time to time. Additionally, I've tried to observe the overall pulse around me. People's body language at a table across the room, the ambient noise of the restaurant and unfortunately the screen addiction of our current society.
In Dale Carnegie's book "How to Win Friends and Influence People", he states that a person's favorite word is their own first name and if you want someone to remember and like you, use their favorite word.....often.
There's a rundown corner mart that I frequent to buy life's necessities, gas and beer. On occasion, there is a decent line as the teller runs through transactions. A majority of the purchasers don't even say a word to the person taking their money. So my new found goal isn't even about the petrol I'm buying, it's to engage and have a brief conversation with the gentleman behind the counter. His reaction usually lets me know that it's a breath of fresh air for him to actually converse.
We can do this in most public settings, we just get caught up in own worlds so much, we forget there are other humans around us. Give it a whirl next time you're out and about. The grocery, a restaurant, church, the restroom (situation dependent), there's opportunities sprinkled throughout your day. Your goal shouldn't be to make friends with them, just use the language you both know. It'll give both parties involved a little spark of energy.
Technology is awesome, but don't let it strain your neck. Look up from time to time and use your words. Yep.
New in my life: Hunting goals and self-worth are not close cousins thankfully. Pocket dials and #1 songs are my cholesterol. Free agency.
Keep smilin'
Joe
