February. The month of Love, and Black History.

My grandma once said never argue about religion, politics or relationships because no one usually wins. And even when someone feels victorious in the conversation, the other person's pride gets damaged. Smart lady. Well I'm not going to touch the religion or politics; I will leave those for the birds. However relationships are always noteworthy...

Men and women are naturally designed to attract towards each other. In fact, my friend, whom we will call Ravis Tarp for now, often uses that as an excuse for his late night freshmen year shanannigans during college. And despite what many chick flicks tell me (not that I watch them) I believe that humans are compatible with several people in their lifetime. That long lasting relationships are developed from having the right timing in two peoples lives. Romantic, I know.

This is funny. When people are asked "what's your type?," alot of people say "I like a girl to be smart and attractive." Really? That's weird. You mean, you don't want the dumb ugly girl? Dibs. Just kidding. I am sorry if I offended any dumb ugly girls with my past few sentences. My point being, don't say intellegent and pretty people are your type. Those desired qualites can be assumed in a mate. Now the definition of intellegent and pretty can be debated. I mean unless only the smart, attractive people get married and all the other people go to some far off desolate land. Wait nevermind, that could be right, Kansas is still part of the union isn't it? Yep. Go Mizzou!

I have friends I swear have never been single. I have friends I'm not sure have ever had a girlfriend. Now neither of those situations is better than the other, just different. When you have people get married all around you, it's easy to feel pressure to lock it up, bury the hatchet, put a ring on it, find that special someone, to wed so to speak. With my maturity level and blurred priorities, I don't feel that would be appropriate..... but that's just me. So in my usual nature, I've come up with a theory....

A friend told me the other day "I'm not good at relationships." Two things there: 1. You're not good at relationships because you keep telling yourself you're not good at them. 2. It's not that you're bad at relationships; it's that you're just better at certain types of relationships. Everyone has relationships. People just specialize at the ones they're good at. Some people are better at friend relationships, other people are best friends with their family, some people are better at finding a soul mate, other people are better at having many short term, nocturnal relationships. Whatever puts the wind in your sails. Then there are the people who have mastered the facebook relationship- you know the person that knows everything about everyone, but oddly never really talks to anyone. They're actually reading this right now. Hi.

Everything wrapped together: If somehow, you communicate with other humans, you're good at relationships. And tell yourself that, it will brighten your perspective. That's what life's all about, perspective. The cookie is gonna crumble the way it's supposed too, just do what you're good at.

New in my life: I have had the same valentine for 23 years now. Happy Valentines Day mama!

There are 137 species of birds in Tennessee.

Keep smilin'

What Friends Are For

I was standing there in my tiny Umbro basketball shorts, Nike high top sneakers, orange cotton jersey not really knowing why I was on a basketball court. I mean I was the shortest kid in the 1st grade.... that's including the girls. I think the best part though was that my hair was artistically cut into a rat tail. Yep, I said it. Somewhere around my 5th- 7th year on this earth I decided and my parents allowed me to sport the vintage rat tail. Hold on. Before this gets out of hand.... it wasn't that long of a rat tail. Just an extension of a reverse widows peak. I was starting a revolution.

Now I can't remember what childhood epiphany made me want a rat tail. It might have been too many episodes of Walker Texas Ranger or maybe it was just an omen of the years to come. But I also can't remember why eventually I got rid of it (believe me, it was short lived). My theory is that because eventually one of my friends made fun of it. So in my mind it went from being cool to something people don't do. The rat tail is just an example used for dramatic and humbling purposes. I bet though, over the years there have been a lot of habits, styles, and choices that were highly influenced by my friends. I condone this.

These days, now that I have quit ordering a toy with my McDonalds and am fully confident puberty has left its mark, (still waiting on that whole "growth spurt" thing they always talked about by the way) I certainly don't base my actions on other people's thoughts/opinions. However, I think that one of the biggest things that friends are for is to call you out on life. So if you're the kind of person that gets offended when your friends tell you that you're a messy person or that you're outfit makes you look gay or that you eat too much, you should probably get over yourself. How many times in your life have strangers pointed out to you the flaws in your life? Right. Strangers are not supposed to, the people you like the most are.

So don't get upset when your friends speak their minds about your short comings (for me it was my height. Get it? I'm short.) Simply thank them for pointing out the areas that need improvement. Because without criticism, we would all think too highly of ourselves. Tracey Lawrence has a song "Find Out Who Your Friends Are" where he talks about all the qualities that your real friends should have. Great tune. But really, I find out who my friends are based upon how honest they are with how much I suck sometimes.

So to crystalize this idea: Take crap from your friends with a smile. And I don't know exactly which one of you it was, but thank you for telling me that humans don't do rat tails. Who knows which carnival I'd be working at had you kept to yourself.

Now there are a ton of different aspects of what makes your posse, amigos, gangstas, brosephs, homies, friends so great. I just highlighted one. I hope you use the commenting forum to share these qualities with the blogging world.

New in my life: My half birthday is in 11 days. Please send all cards, cookies, travelers checks, and full body shots to my current address.

Keep smilin'

JM