Personal Guesstimation

We all know the best way to catch a frog is by shining a light in it's eyes, and then sneaking up on it.  Common knowledge.  In fact, pythons will stretch themselves out next to it's soon to be prey just to size themselves up against their dietary colleague.  I hate snakes. You following yet?

Now I'm not worried about what I am going to teach my kids someday.  That's still a minute or two away.  But I know something that every kid should have ingrained in them at some point is proper self evaluation.  I'm a big fan of self evaluation.  It goes back to the whole concept of growing as a person.  Because we all know, if you're not growing, you're dying <-- cliche.

Proper self evaluation is a tricky thing though.  Mainly because there are popular categories where it's extremely easy to size yourself up on this totem pole life we have.  The biggest one is what drives most of the world.  Money. How much income you have.  That in turn reflects what flavor of car you drive and the kind of clothes you wear.  And as we get older that translates into how big your house is, what school your kids go to, and how big of a trampoline you bought your offspring.

Level of income is the most common form of comparing ourselves to the people we surround ourselves with. Some people turn that comparison into jealousy.  Other people use it as positive motivation.  Either way is not my point.  My point is our self evaluation shouldn't be based upon what we have but rather what we give back to others.  I'm not speaking of feeding the homeless or contributing to our church. Don't get me wrong,  those are great things to do.  But what I am referring to is that when you wake up every day you should be focusing on making life better for the people you deal with rather than gathering up more acorns for your winter stash.

The concept is your self evaluation shouldn't be based on your possessions but simply how you treat other human beings in your day to day actions.  This concept is actually pretty simple to use.  Here's a few appetizers: hold the door for people, smile, make an effort to listen, compliment someone you don't like. Yep. Just saying, you shouldn't  worry about holding a candle to yourself, instead check the batteries in the flashlight your pointing at others (shining light at frogs concept...a bit of a stretch, I know). 

In Merica, everyone's entitled to their opinions.  This is mine.  Feel free to share yours.  

New in my life: In celebration of Black History Month, I'm moving to East Nashville.  I'm focusing more these days.  AM Radio isn't a choice, it's a lifestyle.

Keep smiling'

JM

Aim Small, Miss Small

One of my life goals is to own a buffalo and a Longhorn.  I feel like those two would get along really well.  If they decided to mate,  I'd have a LongBuff or possibly a BuffHorn.  It's a pretty sweet mental picture.  Lofty goals though, I know.  As the new year approaches many people gear up to make life changing goals like losing weight or saving money.  Problem is, often times these goals are surface level and don't have a lot of meaning.  Let's work on that.

Many job descriptions say "Must be a goal oriented person."  And most people in their head say "Yeah! That's me!" Now I've come to realize that a lot of us set goals.  Some people set hourly goals,  a lot of people make lists for daily goals, and then there's those humans setting the curve that make yearly goals.  In fact, some people do all of the above.  Show offs.  But I don't think setting goals is  the problem we have, it's the sticking to them part that is so hard for us to swallow. So here's a couple of things I've found to make those new found intentions a little more sticky.

First off, a good set of goals should make the nervousness in your stomach clinch up.  When you set your goals, there should be a small part of you questioning "Can I really do that?"  So if you're into being subpar, you should safely set your goals to be easily achievable.  That will make you feel great in the short run.  Kind of like destroying your little cousins in basketball though, it doesn't really mean much.  Now don't get crazy, goals should definitely be realistic to you, but they should also be made to stretch your potential.

Teachers often tell children that the sky is the limit, but don't teach the basics on how to get there.  It's pretty simple actually:  Step one:  Think about it.  Step two:  Tell people about it.  Let's start with the first step....

I bet there wasn't a day that Michael Jordan rolled about of bed and didn't think about how to be a better basketball player.  And I'm pretty sure Bill Gates hasn't gone too many days not thinking about computers.  As with anyone who is a blackbelt in their field...they thought their way into success.  This isn't a science, it's a simplicity that just happens.  The more you focus your thoughts on what you want, the higher your success rate.  To put this more on a day to day level... if you are looking for a job, a good part of your day should be thinking about what job you want and how you are going to get one.   If you want to lose weight, think about it when you're deciding between either Fruit Loops or Honey Bunches of Oats at the grocery store.  Little decisions.

Then spread the word. Tell people about your goals.  Why?  Because it increases your commitment to that decision.  The more people you tell you're going to do something, the more accountability is put on you to follow through with it.  Also, I like to tell the people who are important to me all of my goals.  The decision to achieve something is easier if the respect of people you care about is on the line.  Although friendly, the guy at the Starbucks airport won't keep you as accountable as your "BFF."

Side note, another way to commit yourself to something is simply in your phrasing.  There is a big difference in saying "I'm going to try to find a job" versus "I'm going to find a job." Yep.

Another thing that I like to do to really saturate my goals is to advertise them everywhere in my daily routine.  My bathroom mirror has them posted on it for when I'm practicing dental hygiene.  The background on this computer is my goals.  The notes section in my phone even has them for light reading material.  Little things like that, force me to think about what I want to achieve.

Now I'm no innovator in the game, these are just a few wise old indian tricks that have worked for me in my 25 years.  So this year, instead of setting goals because Ellen told you to, set some ambitions to improve  you as a human.  As always, this information may work for you, and it may not.  But hell, it's worth a try.

New in my life: Looking forward to using the same shampoo for a whole week.  A cup of Joe now has a dual purpose.  If you have a layover on a flight, you should have the option to audible your connecting destination.

Keep smiling'

JM

Your Paycheck's Blood Pressure

I was giving blood the other day and the nurse lady was asking me what I do for an occupation.  I guess I seem too intelligent to still be in college. Riiiiiiight. But at the end of the conversation, the blood nurse lady said "It sounds like your a jack of many trades."  I immediately thought it was more appropriate to call myself a "joe of many trades," but that's not important.  Then I started thinking why I naturally have several irons in the fire.

A guy like me likes to stay busy.  In my mind I have a certain amount of time in a day, and unless I plan ahead to be lazy, it usually doesn't happen.  So occupationally, as I take on more tasks to fill my time, I'm also accidentally end up taking on more responsibility.  And as you may know, in a job atmosphere, as you create more responsibility for yourself, the company you work for has more dependency in you (aka job security).

There's an economic theory called Comparative Advantage saying that a country's most efficient strategy is to specialize in something and then trade with another country. That may be true in certain industries but I have my own personal economic theory relating to job security.  Do everything on your own.  First off, the best advice I have ever received on job security is: "Work your ass off."  Enough said.  Secondly, what I have found out on my own, is the best job security is to try and make yourself irreplaceable.

I would never say that I am irreplaceable.  That sounds both egotistical and naive.  But I think it's a great mindset to have when you are establishing your work ethic.  Side note, sometimes when people tell me their metabolism has slowed down, I want to tell them that it's not their metabolism decreasing in speed but rather their work ethic.  Too harsh?  Yeah, probably.

Now in many industries, including mine, most positions can be replaced in a heartbeat.  That's what happens with layoffs.  It is also why I don't get the whole "strike" concept.  I am probably missing something here, but if were a boss and my employees all went on strike, I would grab the "seeking employment" section of the newspaper.  Sure you would have to train a bunch of new people but at least they would appreciate their job.

Now just for safes keep, I know that there are hard workers out there that get laid off for uncontrollable reasons.  My bad.  This jaunt might rub you the wrong way.  But to scoop it all up: create your own job security.  Work your butt off and somehow find a way to make yourself the life support of your employer.

New in my life:  Grizzly Adams did have a beard.  Penguins are the best.  I've increased my coffee intake.  Every-one is still in light rotation, but I find myself drawn to the south.  I recently discovered that I'm not perfect.  Who knew?

Keep smilin'

JM

State Farm Who?

I don't drink enough milk.  I definitely am not a dairy farmer's monetary fountain.  However, I've never broken a bone and for the most part I'd say I'm a fairly healthy lad.  But it's still important for a guy like me to have health insurance.  Insurance...let's check that palabra out.

Insurance as you may know is direct kin to risk.  The riskier you are the more insurance you should have.  But even the cat lady watching soap operas needs insurance.  Now coverage, like most earthly matter, has evolved over the years and there are many different forms of it.  My personal favorite is a gun.  But there are all sorts of back up plans......a rock climber's insurance is that rope he's connected to, for a financial advisor, a rainy day account and for the empty handed drunk at the bar, an ex-girlfriend seems like a perfect solution at last call.  It's science.

But while I preach the importance of insurance, I must say that I don't really care about the most common forms.  Dental, health, car...etc.  I mean I get why they're there.  And  I have them because it makes sense but the insurance that I like on my side, keeps me covered on more of a weekly and often times daily basis.....

There's all sorts of things on a given day that can bring you down.  For the sake of keeping your cup half full, I won't divulge.  But no matter the happenings, circumstances or people that make up your day, you should always have these aces up your sleeve.  I like to call this my personal insurance plan.

1.  Exercise.  One of my amigos told me the other day that he doesn't like working out.  I agreed with him.  If I had a button I could push to keep me in shape, I would push it 23 times a day.  But the act of it isn't what enjoy, it's the feeling I get after I am done.  It's a feeling of productivity.  Boom.

2.  Volunteer.  I'm no Mother Teresa.  Far from it.  In fact it sounds selfish to say that one of the reasons I volunteer is to keep MY head right.  But even so, people are getting helped and it's a good thing.  It can be as simple as giving blood or spending an hour a week at the homeless shelter, but it will improve your moral fibers.  Lo prometo.

3.  Go to church.  I'm not an advotcate of pushing religion.  It's not my thing.  And I really don't care if you even have a religion.  All that I know is that I feel like a better human when I leave mass on Sunday.  Even if you spend half of the service thinking about what you're going eat for lunch or the pretty girl in the second row, it gives you a great start to your week.

4.  Read a book.  I don't know why this works for me.  In fact the most time you have to spend doing this is 15 minutes a day.  It works because it slows you down to mentally recharge,  it takes your mind off the rest of the world for a second, and it makes you seem intellectually ambitious.  Eh?

Subsequently, through life's trial and error, these are just a few things that I consider my personal insurance plan. So no matter how big of a mental flood or emotional fire the day brings, I know I'm covered. State Farm who?

I condone these few simplicities.  This isn't my theory, these are just some things I do to make sure I'm making the day my b*#&@.  They work for me, they may work for you, everyone is different.  Maybe your skin sizzles when you go near a church. Forget that one, and go see a doctor.  And as always, it's your right to tell me I'm full of it.  So bring it.

New in my life:  Every-ONE that I know is still in light rotation.  I wore a headband the other day.  Applause is too trendy for me.  If you put the toaster on bagel mode, you must change it back when finished.

Keep smilin'

JM

Where's the Beef?

The Napoleon complex is something serious that everyone should make fun of.  Now while I am a shorter male, I don't have "Little Man Syndrome."  This is one of the many reasons getting in a fight with another human isn't my forte.  Let me get my soap bucket.

It seems very juvenile to want to fight someone, but somehow there are still people over the age of 13 that want to do it. I simply like to vocalize the lack of logic and comedic aspect of a physical encounter. So you're saying that after you punch me, I'm going to look at this whole situation much differently? Okey dokes. Truth is, a scuffle doesn't change anything. It just makes the victorious party a little more confident. And in a fight situation, the victorious contender can be very open to interpretation. Most of the time, the two people that fight think the same thing of each other after they sling some knucks. And that my friends is a waste of time, which is inefficient, which is not something I enjoy to be. So it's not that I don't like fighting because it is violent and I am small, it's because it's inefficient and I don't have time for those kind of antics.

To hit on my vertical condition again, I've never been in a fight and don't plan on it, but being smaller than the average bear my natural instinct is to beef up my friends roster with taller much bigger people. Now when I see a tall guy I don't run up to him and ask to be friends. I usually wait a day and facebook him. Hah. No I kid. I think by social Darwinism, my friends are taller than most. Once again, just my theory. It's science.

I suppose this blog throws it out there that I am a lover not a hater. There goes the tough guy card I was trying to pull.  Take Brazil as an example. They haven't deployed troops since WWII, no bordering countries have an outspoken dislike for them, and due to their resources they have a rapidly growing economy. They watch futbol, drink beer, and rear beautiful women to sit on the beach. Comparitively, for a country that size, that's legit. My point being, move to Brazil. But really it would be interesting if we had a way of measuring the number of bar fights in Brazil compared to "put a boot in your ass" Merica. Yea that's Toby Keith, I apologize.

It's hard to change a person and I'm part of the solution team, so here are a couple of tips for all you raging hormonal creatures out there: Raggae, The Best of Bill Dance Bloopers, and cheesecake.

If this blog or my dislike for Toby Keith makes you want to fight me, I'm game. As long as I get to thoroughly point out your flaws as a human being beforehand. I could be the best fighter in the world, I just don't know it because I've never done it.  Yep.

New in my life:  Democracy.  I met a minature Australian Shepard.  Rap in country music personally offends me.  Snail mail is under-rated.

Keep smilin'

JM