Make Up is the Original Photo Filter

Looking at your cell phone during every break in life has become a national past time. I’m not judging, I do it regularly. Commercial break, check twitter. Bored in a meeting, flash through Instagram. Sitting at a stoplight, check my texts. It’s a very easy way to fill the minute or two gaps in time and there is never a lack of something to look at.

I quit facebook almost two years ago now, and every day feel like I get a pang of desire to start cutting out the other #socmeds (social medias). My main reason was when I looked at facebook and asked myself, “What is this doing for me?”. Sure, it’s great to check in on old friends, remember birthdays, and check to make sure your ex found someone with a larger belt size than you. But in the end I found it making me feel divisiveness towards people who didn’t agree with my politics, habitually complained about this or that, or only posted about some Ponzi scheme makeup business they got into.

More importantly, all these platforms can leave you feeling inadequate…and I would venture to guess that incompetent feeling may be the reason you posted something once upon a time (again, guilty as charged). That perfect picture of you sipping drinks on the beach; the well-filtered photo of your kids and spouse next to the perfectly lit Christmas tree. You crop and filter and adjust to capture the best in the frame and you can block out all the disarray on the periphery. And when your followers or friends or online acquaintances scroll past your picture we all want them to think, “Wow, they’ve really got it made.”

With so much of the passing minutes and seconds taken up with the quick scroll through the well-curated social media feeds, it can all be a little overwhelming. The main point being is in a time when most of the information we absorb is from the Twitbooks and Instasnaps (#getoffmylawn!), it’s easy to get pulled from reality where things are chaotic and disorganized and unfiltered. We've made it a habit to view people through the lens of their social media persona. More and more I find myself having to make the conscious decision to step back and realize that everyone else’s offline life is likely much the same as mine: generally happy but not perfect.

I’m not one to make a lot of New Year’s resolutions, but if I can better separate myself from my phone and online connections in 2017, and make more time for my wife, dog, friends, mailman in those trivial minutes and seconds in life, I’ll consider it a success.

New in my life: my next house will have a carpenter’s workshop, real trees are the only trees, winter can end anytime now.

That's all from out west- TA

This rendition of NVCJ is brought to you by Travis Arp. Trav is a well-accomplished writer, dwelling from the greater Denver area. His interests include craft beer, hiking and appreciating a good cut of meat. (No joke, he has his doctorate in meat sciences.)   

Antique Roadshow or Bust

In the olden days, if you were in dire need for your ship to sail quicker, you'd toss off loot or humans into the ocean to lighten the vessel and increase your speed. Walk the plank Randy. 

I have a two dollar bill I'm keeping just in case I go homeless some day. It'll be the last thing I get rid of. I've also kept 98% of the business cards I've gotten the past 9 years. I don't know why I do that.

In my experience, women's personal bathrooms tend to be dirtier than men's. There's a stereotype that women do the cooking and cleaning.  I thoroughly enjoy cooking and cleaning. Before you go into judgement mode, I also enjoy using a chainsaw, drinking Busch Light and talking about guns. 

With my cleaning OCD (or JoeCD eh?) I'm not a big fan of clutter. They know me by name at the local Goodwill. That's an exaggeration to make a point, but as creatures, a lot of us tend to collect and save too many items during our short time here.

These regarded items we hold so dear, after our demise,  eventually will get sold, given away, burned, thrown away or passed along for someone else to justify having an attic. Fact is, they are just things and it's okay that we like and save them, but every once in awhile it's a healthy practice to lighten the load and get rid of some our chronic unnecessities. Practice minimalism with your possessions. 

With that point though, there are keepsakes. There is gear we've acquired over the years that is sentimental and near to our heart. You're probably thinking of your's at the moment. That 1989 Scottie Pippen jersey? Your grandmother's necklace? Your old man's shotgun he gave you? If it brings you enough happiness to garner those things, I say go for it.

From time to time, I go through my phone and delete contacts. It's usually people I can't remember who they are or that I haven't talked to since the '73 title game. So if you text me and I reply "New phone, who is this?" you'll know. Was there any harm with their name being in my phone? Not really. But just like I really enjoy taking a plastic bag full of old tee shirts to Goodwill, I feel great about removing stagnant or unhealthy relationships from my line of communication. 

Someone somewhere did a social study that showed you naturally replace half of your friends every 7 years. That's depressingly refreshing, but I'd encourage you to preemptively rid yourself of those loose acquaintances that are moving houses and heard you happen to have a truck. Don't worry, just like the remembrances you have in storage, you are going to inevitably keep your souvenir squad of friends that bring utility and good vibes into your life.

It may sound malicious but what I'm lobbying is that you just take an inventory of your rolodex from time to time.  You'll feel better and your ship will sail a little faster. Yep.  

New in my life: Daniel Norris for president. I take a notebook to coffee shops. Jalapeño Cheddar summer sausage is a necessary food group.

Keep smilin'

#goAtLIFE

Scars and Wrinkles Make a Telling Resume

I've been ignored a few times in the past couple months. Some of the ignorances have been committed by friends, some by work acquaintances and others romantically.  The pride part of me thinks "I'm not the kind of person people ignore", the free spirit in me thinks "I could care less", and then the human part of me just gets bummed. How I react when someone doesn't get back to me, is usually a mixture of all three.  To clarify, this isn't a cry for sympathy, more so a public digesting of an emotion.

I'm a pretty solitary dude. I enjoy silence immensely. But no one likes getting the busy signal when reaching out to people within your circle. In these situations, it's easy to take the cold-shouldering personal, but I'd rather just keep it fresh. You see, whether it's a co-worker, your Tinder match or seeing what amigos are up for drinks, you're better off hanging out with the people that are excited to hang out with you.

Along with this disdain of society, comes the "fear of missing out" or FOMO for all you acronym users. And the leading supplier of this FOMO is America's favorite past-time, social media. Many of us have been there, sitting at home scrolling through a social platform on the interwebs, and you see a happy, fun, better-than-your-situation picture of all your posse doing something that is right up your alley. That angst you feel rising in your gut, is the same set of emotions that an ignored text brings.

Naive and selfish aren't bad words. They've just been given a bad reputation for those of us who carry those qualities too often.

Now I'm not a doctor nor am I a psychologist, but I've found that making myself comfortable in my own bubble and ignoring the mainstream medias takes away some of the brief negative emotions described above. With television and social media filling a void these days, a lot of us have forgotten some of the habits and hobbies that we genuinely enjoy doing. Put down the phone and do something that requires brain activity. Make yourself too positively busy to worry about what the rest of the world is up to. Be a little selfish and naive. Feel good about it.

This seems old school because it is. I'm describing a lifestyle where people talk to and enjoy the folks in their presence. A scene where your amusement and gratification come from the story you're living instead of the attention you get on the internet.  I'm not telling you to banish socializing online, but I am encouraging you to spend less time on there or maybe even giving it up for a few days. I know, crazy thoughts.

New in my life: The children are no longer hungry. Patchouli is a formidable scent. I quit checking Instagram at red lights.

Keep smilin'

#goAtLIFE

Sailboats are Better Than Submarines

Wake up, grind coffee beans, drink bean juice, make eggs, read book, bathe properly, let the day commence. I love days that start this way.

As humans we dig our schedules. Whether we know it or not, we are routined beings. Along with schedules, there is a large majority of us that are a big fan of rules. Parameters that we can adhere too. Now if you're a teenager, in your basement, mad at your dad, ignore this little part.  But for most of us, we enjoy having bumpers in place so our bowling ball lives head in the general right direction.

I think we have the chemical make up to embrace structure. If you look at ancient hierarchies that came before us, we have a history of supporting frameworks put in place by bigger fish on the food chain. Egyptians complied to the pharaoh of the generation. The ancient Chinese religiously believed what the emperor said, goes. And you look at corporate America today and we have this ladder people always walk and talk about.

I'm not immune to schedule, structure or routine. I like them...to an extent.  What this PSA is about is not letting your job and duties trump your ability to be a human.

I travel a lot so I get to experience these situations more than I'd prefer. Scene: A large airline or hotel has a no-exception rule in place to encompass all situations brought to them. I'm all for running a tight ship, but what you lose when you play strictly by the book is the capacity of putting yourself in other people's shoes. I realize this bathroom is for employees only ma'am, but have you ever peed in your pants in public? Your hotel room is ready now, but your rule is customers can't check in until 3PM? Hmmmm.

I suppose when you boil this down to the raw materials, this is simply a reminder to live by the golden rule to treat people the way you'd want your mother to be treated. Don't feel bad about having a tight schedule or doing your job flawlessly, but don't let it lull you into losing understanding of each situation. We're all cut from similar cloth so act like it.

New in my life: It's great to save money, but every once in awhile go buy some new clothes. I'd like to make a habit of drinking coffee and Boulevard beer. In that order. November is a month to reflect 20ft up. My roommate's name is OC but he goes by Lee and he only kicks home runs.

Keep smilin'

#goAtLIFE

Dating Darwinism

“You should totally do it.” they said.  I hadn’t been into dating much less dating apps, but with a slight of encouragement, I downloaded the morally shallow and swipe-driven dating technology.

I had a couple friends in town to visit and they thought it would be fun to decide my romantic fate for me by virtually finding the girl of my dreams. Or at least one to meet for an adult beverage while out on the town.

The social landscape on dating apps is a tricky one. You have some people on there that know their selected pictures will get them attention and in turn a false confidence boost they desire. You’ll also get ghosted messaging someone like that. They’re not there for conversation.

The other end of the spectrum are the buyers. They’re on the app for business. Relationship business that is. Saying it nicely, their biological clocks have increased their level of desperation. They like to swipe right.

The third party on these apps are the like-minded. The middle grounded folks. They don’t put much emphasis on love or lust but they will entertain it.  Their contentment isn’t dependent on another human, but pleasant companionship is nice from time to time. It’s what here for anyways right?

In my mind, if I were to find someone dateable through a social medium, it would have to be someone who didn’t care the outcome. Someone that is okay with the status of single.  Too often people translate single as not being able to find a partner. In reality being single allows us to individually develop a healthy soul before we try to navigate compatibility. Some of the best reading advice I’ve gotten was from a book called “Scary Close” by Donald Miller, in it he says “A healthy relationship is when two healthy individuals mutually agree to be together.”

As I’ve gained responsibility I’ve lost hair. That’s okay. If I go bald I’ll consider myself an experienced troubadour.  I call them my Rally Alleys.  But as the Rogaine commercials gain emphasis and my peers continue to mark off the life checkpoints, I certainly realize the importance of finding permanent life company.

Do I want to get married and create offspring? Yes. Is achieving that going to complete me as an individual? I don’t believe so.

I feel like I was just asking for an extra popsicle after soccer practice and now I’m saving up for a down payment for something adults buy. We live in chapters and life is a speed-reader. Be conscious that your situation will change soon.  As I get older, I believe more and more that the Good Lord laughs at our 10 and 20-year plans. Place value in things you want to achieve but don’t dwell on the future and certainly realize you don’t have that much control of your addendum.

I don’t condone using dating apps, but I also don’t advise going by the same life to-do list that is molded as success.  Do life on your own time. If you’re single, take your time dating, swipe left. If you just got married, take some time before making a junior. Travel and enjoy each other. If you’re retired, take a deep breath and enjoy a sunrise. It’s all a moment. Yep.

New in my life: I generally vote for the presidential candidate I'd like to have a beer with. Drinking alone this go around.  Restaurants are great, but so is a farm.  Debt? Never heard of her. 

Keep smilin'

#goAtLIFE