Zombies Always Wear Comfy Clothes

Johnny has 4 apples. Adam takes 2 and gives Johnny 3 oranges. How many apples does Johnny have now? That's where vertically challenged, 2nd grade Joe was wondering why Adam is such a punk and why does problem solving even matter?

Now, I go on problem solving adventures every weekend for an occupation. I haven't come across the Johnny/Adam fruit exchange that my childhood prepared me for, but trust me, I'm ready.

I was standing in only my underwear (boxer briefs if you must know) in the green room the other night before a show. I was trying to get the shower to get hot. Something was not working properly and a heavier set man from the venue walks into the room unannounced. Folks, that's as weird as this story gets, sorry.

I wasn't uncomfortable about my lack of garments and simply asked him if he knew how to fix my dilemma. He assessed and had no idea. He said he'd get somebody. After a few minutes, a new man from the venue enters the scene. I think he has come to solve the problem. Without looking at my issue he goes on to tell me he has no idea either, but to let him know if I need anything else. Problem solving Joe has a couple questions here: 1. Why did man #2 even show up? 2. Why would I ask him for more help in my near future? I took a luke-cold shower and happily went about my night.

In the said situation above, instead of getting frustrated with an unhelpful shower savior, I chalked it up as every person simply having a different sized mental capacity.  No offense to shower repairman Steve, in reality he probably is great at his job. Maybe he does security, maybe he serves drinks. And he might be great at it. Shower temperature just isn't his forte.

You ever get home from work and literally don't want to think about anything? That's probably why you don't cook as much as you'd like to. Or maybe that's why you aren't motivated for the gymnasium after a long day. It's also why TV and Netflix get their ratings. We'd rather someone come up non-mentally challenging programs to entertain us. To set the record, I'm not criticizing, I think pausing your brain function with the boob tube is relaxing and a necessity in moderation.

That mental exhaustion though, should be your goal everyday. Everyone has a different sized brain tanks. My challenge to you is to make sure yours is running on fumes at the end of each day. Read an unfamiliar book instead of your go-to reality shows. Cook a meal of food you've never tried before. Call up an old friend just to catch up. I don't know what your version of extra brain exercise looks like, but just make sure you're stretching your potential. You're smarter than you look. Grow that brain power. Learn about showers. Yep.

New in my life: Delivering furniture isn't a bad gig at all. Blueberry coffee contains no blueberries, but is the preferred drink by Jesus and America. Smallmouths go well with loudmouth soup.

Comments always welcomed.

Keep smilin'

#goAtLIFE

Here Einstein, Hold My Beer

Capitalism is great, but it also makes the cheese selection at the store more difficult. Do we really need that many different options? Maybe. Luckily, pepper jack is superior.

I figured out that I'm officially an adult. How you ask?  I like to dabble in podcasts these days. The aspect that I really enjoy about podcasts is they make me think about all the different areas of my life. Typically in one morning, I go from wanting to be a better Christian to turkey hunter connoisseur to paying off my student loan to wanting to buy a Steph Curry jersey to learning the subjective tense of tener en Espanol. I'd like to think I'm keeping my brain on it's toes.

I definitely believe this thought spontaneity is making me a more well-rounded individual, but just like having too much stagnant water around breeds mosquitos, too many priorities can breed stress. Do I want to be completely debt free or do I want to travel the world while I'm young? Is gluten or eating red meat worse for me? With having a limited amount of time and mental energy in one day, this over load of seemingly important ambitions can leave you discombobulated.

There's an argument to be made that you should focus your efforts and narrow your knowledge base to become great at one thing. I don't agree with that. Based on my driving history and interactions with other people in the super market, there are enough simple minded folks out there. Thomas Edison had 1,093 patents in his lifetime. It's hard to argue with Thomas Edison's lifestyle. That's like arguing with America. Japan tried that once.

My motivation pieces to this are:

1. Keep learning. I don't care if you're the spry young age of 70. You don't know everything yet. Finish the fourth quarter strong. Learn something unfamiliar.

2. Keep it fresh. If you're a black belt in hip hop knowledge, diversify and check out both kinds of music, country and western. Same old, same old? More like lame old, lame old. Am I right? Maybe podcasts aren't your thing. Read a book about a subject you have no knowledge of or better yet, that you don't agree with.

Cultivate your random brain intelligence. You'll be a better conversationalist, a better trivia teammate and an overall more rounded personality.

Squirrel side-note: Is calling someone a square essentially saying they're not well-rounded?

New in my life: Labrador retriever puppies are my kryptonite. A sustainable bed and breakfast starts with a few seeds and growing lamp. Mary Jo's cheesecake freezes quite well.

Comments below are welcomed.

Keep smilin'

#goAtlife

Trump Has Great Hair

Maybe you are Mr. or Ms. Internet Surfer, perusing the interwebs, doing your best to dodge typing in a URL incorrectly and stumbling across a website that would make your mother blush.  Maybe you know Joe, and are doing him a solid by reading his musings.  Maybe you heard Joe asked this really cool, moderately good-looking friend of his to guest blog, and wanted to check out what he had to say.  Maybe you thought this website sells coffee. 

Regardless, here you are.  Reading 1,000-plus words about life and living and being a better you and rejection and failure and what’s new in our lives.  You could be laughing or groaning or learning or rolling your eyes or trying to click the “X” button as quickly as you can.  But you’re here and we’ve got your ear and this is the internet, so you read it.

And here Joe and I are.  Writing words into an abyss that over 3 billion people are using at any given time, hoping that 0.0000001% of you will read this think it’s interesting enough to come back to and share with your friends, thus increasing our readership to 0.00000011%.  Success.

So why on earth are you here, supposedly hanging on our every word, trying to find meaning out of the words Joe or I punch into our computers?

I do my best to try and learn something on a weekly, if not daily, basis.  I read the paper on my lunch break, I ask a lot of questions; I’m curious.  The people I come across that frustrate me the most are those that are closed minded and don’t allow themselves to look at something other than the way they’ve crafted it in their head.  That’s the part of the internet that is both a blessing and a curse.  If I think something is one way, a quick google search can affirm my thoughts and provide 100% concrete evidence that my convictions are correct.  A few quick key strokes can propagate any line of thinking, regardless of how intelligent or ignorant.  It can boil each side of the isle down to “you’re with me,” and “hater.”

But what if you’re wrong?  Believe it or not, that is a distinct possibility!  Just because you found a website that says there are 10 inches in a foot, doesn’t mean it’s right!  Just because the article was titled “The Case for Trump’s Great Hair,” it does not make for concrete evidence compared to what the eye can see. 

The partisan approach I mention in the previous paragraphs is really dangerous.  It boils the world down to ones or zeros; black and white; being correct and being a hater.  Despite what you want to believe, there is nuance and grey in nearly all situations…recognizing that, much less seeking it out, allows for more interpretation of whatever it is you’re pondering.

So what is my point here?  It’s that it’s really easy to get tunnel vision, especially on the internet.  Joe and I aren’t necessarily a wealth of knowledge, but reading this may be a source for a different perspective.  Or if nothing else, is a kick in the backside to go seek out a unique perspective.  The people I’ve learned the most from in my short time on planet earth are those that challenged the way I looked at things.  It’s easy to get entrenched with the way you see something, and all of us likely have something we have dug our heels in on.  Seeking out the counterpoints to your counterpoints, though, is a good way to open yourself up to new ideas (as well keeping you from being the jerk troll on Twitter, someone who nobody likes).

New in Travis’ life: Snow just may not be for me; chewing gum in Singapore is illegal; 30 is just a number.

Crazy Asses Were Once Baby Donkies

Watching a sunrise with a cup of coffee might be my favorite pastime. It's nature's reminder that you get a fresh slate. Plus the kick in the pants from the caffeine, drinking the bean juice while the dark turns to light is the most natural way to get your ambition fix.

What that sunrise dosage of Joe provides is tranquility for your brain to start up it's engine. It's a healthy practice that I do as often as I can. The common denominator that I love the most about the experience is the silence. Before the birds, before the wind, before the news, before emails and phone calls is the peacefulness of the still.

Silence is a subjective thing. A lot of it has to do with the chapter of life you are currently in and how busy you may or may not be. To a mom of three toddlers, silence is an offspring detox. To a widowed elderly woman, silence is terrifying. It's a matter of how you look at it. There are too many cup half full/empty references out there, so in lieu of the last year's blockbuster and my sunrise reference, let's look at this as the light and dark side. Silence if you're more the Luke Skywalker type, is a breath of fresh air, but silence to Mr. Darth Vader is a lonely resolve.

I don't intend to retire. Not because of my financial state, but more so my mental state. You see it happen frequently; people retire and then get bored. I don't brake for boredom. Just like physical exercise and keeping your muscles in shape, the brain, when left unchallenged, becomes lazy and less functional. So my game plan is to keep busy until the Good Lord physically doesn't let me. I choose this for my sanity and for the sake of keeping silence on the good side of the force.

This is just opinionated information, but the homework here is to think about how you feel when you're flying solo in a quiet setting. Do you feel at ease or a sense of saddened anxiety? Use your powers for good not evil. Yep.

New in my life: Social media PDA prevention should be addressed at a young age.  My roommate celebrates black history month via puppies. The water in Mexico tastes a lot like tequila.

Comments always welcome.

Keep smilin'

#goAtlife

Cowboy Cadillac Cool

Three days until Christmas. I'll start celebrating soon. There are a few of you who are experiencing chilly weather. You're not prone to the global warming or The Nino. Minus trying Egg Nog in my coffee, I haven't begun celebrating Jesus' birth yet. Some would say I'm late to the party. Others may say I'm the Grinch or cold hearted. I would say though my personality is right around the 73 degree mark.

"This too shall pass" is a good quote and borderline cliche but it holds value. The other day someone criticized me. This is the part where you're shocked. My first inclination by nature was to feel annoyed, confront my evaluator and resent their point of view. But instead I paused and went back to my prepubescent rituals and took a nap. Naps solve problems. What this mental digestion did is it allowed me to realize how unimportant my worries were. I still didn't agree with my peer's criticism, but instead of dwelling, I came to see it was just a passing moment of emotion.

Comedians, although sometimes vulgar, often have the best perspective on life. They're great at stepping back and calling us out on our ridiculous habits that we have culturally deemed as important. The selfie is a great example here. They're also great at pointing out when us land dwellers over react to things.

You ever get furious at someone driving and then literally 2 minutes later be in the best of moods? It's embarrassing looking back on how I've reacted while at ten and two. I blame Mario Kart. I don't think living with a comedian's mindset is the answer, but what I think a lot of us miss is that everything is a moment.

It's simple to see each day as a culmination of moments but the harder thing to think about is the entirety of your life happening unfolding the same way. A marriage, while hopefully is a longer one, is just a juncture in the span of life. Your o so important job is just an extended jaunt in your story.

It boils down to developing and keeping perspective in your demeanor. It will help you control your reaction whether it's dealing with another driver lacking self awareness or realizing things will get better with time after a loss in the family.

Everything is a moment. Live in the present, but don't put so much value into it that causes dramatic reactions. Keep it smooth, keep it mild. It'll help you get along easier. Yep.

New in my life: Pizza and beers make me grin. Hand models are the bread and butter of Fazoli's advertisements. Working on that beach bod.

Keep Smilin'

#goAtlife