Dating Darwinism

“You should totally do it.” they said.  I hadn’t been into dating much less dating apps, but with a slight of encouragement, I downloaded the morally shallow and swipe-driven dating technology.

I had a couple friends in town to visit and they thought it would be fun to decide my romantic fate for me by virtually finding the girl of my dreams. Or at least one to meet for an adult beverage while out on the town.

The social landscape on dating apps is a tricky one. You have some people on there that know their selected pictures will get them attention and in turn a false confidence boost they desire. You’ll also get ghosted messaging someone like that. They’re not there for conversation.

The other end of the spectrum are the buyers. They’re on the app for business. Relationship business that is. Saying it nicely, their biological clocks have increased their level of desperation. They like to swipe right.

The third party on these apps are the like-minded. The middle grounded folks. They don’t put much emphasis on love or lust but they will entertain it.  Their contentment isn’t dependent on another human, but pleasant companionship is nice from time to time. It’s what here for anyways right?

In my mind, if I were to find someone dateable through a social medium, it would have to be someone who didn’t care the outcome. Someone that is okay with the status of single.  Too often people translate single as not being able to find a partner. In reality being single allows us to individually develop a healthy soul before we try to navigate compatibility. Some of the best reading advice I’ve gotten was from a book called “Scary Close” by Donald Miller, in it he says “A healthy relationship is when two healthy individuals mutually agree to be together.”

As I’ve gained responsibility I’ve lost hair. That’s okay. If I go bald I’ll consider myself an experienced troubadour.  I call them my Rally Alleys.  But as the Rogaine commercials gain emphasis and my peers continue to mark off the life checkpoints, I certainly realize the importance of finding permanent life company.

Do I want to get married and create offspring? Yes. Is achieving that going to complete me as an individual? I don’t believe so.

I feel like I was just asking for an extra popsicle after soccer practice and now I’m saving up for a down payment for something adults buy. We live in chapters and life is a speed-reader. Be conscious that your situation will change soon.  As I get older, I believe more and more that the Good Lord laughs at our 10 and 20-year plans. Place value in things you want to achieve but don’t dwell on the future and certainly realize you don’t have that much control of your addendum.

I don’t condone using dating apps, but I also don’t advise going by the same life to-do list that is molded as success.  Do life on your own time. If you’re single, take your time dating, swipe left. If you just got married, take some time before making a junior. Travel and enjoy each other. If you’re retired, take a deep breath and enjoy a sunrise. It’s all a moment. Yep.

New in my life: I generally vote for the presidential candidate I'd like to have a beer with. Drinking alone this go around.  Restaurants are great, but so is a farm.  Debt? Never heard of her. 

Keep smilin'

#goAtLIFE

Stop and Smell the Sunrise

Growing up my parents rarely listened to the radio whilst driving. I didn't understand this. Why would you not want to listen to Cher or Queen or Nelly? I neither confirm or deny I enjoyed those artists as an adolescent. I didn't comprehend the silence then, but I'm starting to grasp why it was and is necessary.

There were a lot of things growing up that I didn't understand. Why do we have to floss? Why do mosquitos exist? Why do we go to church? How do you get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar without getting some on your hand? Some of the conundrums I've figured out. Some I haven't. So disclaimer that this could be one that I haven't.

There are a lot of people that say the generation of kids growing up currently just don't get it. How social media and technology have ruined them.  I feel like that is a very "Get off my lawn!" comment.  If you're one of the people that have said this, you should start talking constantly about the weather and enjoy your velcro shoes. Maybe you already do. Too mean? Nah.

Along with that, relating to politics, you always hear "You have a responsibility and right to vote" and "make a difference" and "you don't vote, you can't complain".  I think all of the governmental rhetoric is cyclical. It's been going on for years.  I say this as we are in the predicted time where many people's feathers are ruffled from the anticipated upcoming election. The reason I don't fancy the political scene is because there is often a lot of doom and gloom tied to it. Constantly hearing: "if _________ is elected, we're in big trouble." I humbly don't agree.

I've been decently independent through a couple of presidents tenure now, and my happiness level has stayed pretty consistent no matter who is residing in the presidential palace. I know there are issues that are affected by who is in office, but we have enough checks and balances where our world is not going to end because of an election.

I bet the Egyptian slaves were up in arms when they were trying to figure out which Pharoh to put in place next. I could be off on my historical facts there, but my point is, the political worry that precedes an election has been going on since we've had elections.

To clarify and summarize, I love America, cold beer, puppies, capitalism, flags and living here, but my personal happiness and success are not going to be determined by who's in the oval office. Work hard and have an award winning attitude and your little slice of life will be just fine.

New in my life: Hank Sr. only made it to 29. An ice cold beer in the summer time is my main food group. Jingle bells has to be the best Christmas song.

Keep smilin'

#goAtLIFE

Zombies Always Wear Comfy Clothes

Johnny has 4 apples. Adam takes 2 and gives Johnny 3 oranges. How many apples does Johnny have now? That's where vertically challenged, 2nd grade Joe was wondering why Adam is such a punk and why does problem solving even matter?

Now, I go on problem solving adventures every weekend for an occupation. I haven't come across the Johnny/Adam fruit exchange that my childhood prepared me for, but trust me, I'm ready.

I was standing in only my underwear (boxer briefs if you must know) in the green room the other night before a show. I was trying to get the shower to get hot. Something was not working properly and a heavier set man from the venue walks into the room unannounced. Folks, that's as weird as this story gets, sorry.

I wasn't uncomfortable about my lack of garments and simply asked him if he knew how to fix my dilemma. He assessed and had no idea. He said he'd get somebody. After a few minutes, a new man from the venue enters the scene. I think he has come to solve the problem. Without looking at my issue he goes on to tell me he has no idea either, but to let him know if I need anything else. Problem solving Joe has a couple questions here: 1. Why did man #2 even show up? 2. Why would I ask him for more help in my near future? I took a luke-cold shower and happily went about my night.

In the said situation above, instead of getting frustrated with an unhelpful shower savior, I chalked it up as every person simply having a different sized mental capacity.  No offense to shower repairman Steve, in reality he probably is great at his job. Maybe he does security, maybe he serves drinks. And he might be great at it. Shower temperature just isn't his forte.

You ever get home from work and literally don't want to think about anything? That's probably why you don't cook as much as you'd like to. Or maybe that's why you aren't motivated for the gymnasium after a long day. It's also why TV and Netflix get their ratings. We'd rather someone come up non-mentally challenging programs to entertain us. To set the record, I'm not criticizing, I think pausing your brain function with the boob tube is relaxing and a necessity in moderation.

That mental exhaustion though, should be your goal everyday. Everyone has a different sized brain tanks. My challenge to you is to make sure yours is running on fumes at the end of each day. Read an unfamiliar book instead of your go-to reality shows. Cook a meal of food you've never tried before. Call up an old friend just to catch up. I don't know what your version of extra brain exercise looks like, but just make sure you're stretching your potential. You're smarter than you look. Grow that brain power. Learn about showers. Yep.

New in my life: Delivering furniture isn't a bad gig at all. Blueberry coffee contains no blueberries, but is the preferred drink by Jesus and America. Smallmouths go well with loudmouth soup.

Comments always welcomed.

Keep smilin'

#goAtLIFE

Here Einstein, Hold My Beer

Capitalism is great, but it also makes the cheese selection at the store more difficult. Do we really need that many different options? Maybe. Luckily, pepper jack is superior.

I figured out that I'm officially an adult. How you ask?  I like to dabble in podcasts these days. The aspect that I really enjoy about podcasts is they make me think about all the different areas of my life. Typically in one morning, I go from wanting to be a better Christian to turkey hunter connoisseur to paying off my student loan to wanting to buy a Steph Curry jersey to learning the subjective tense of tener en Espanol. I'd like to think I'm keeping my brain on it's toes.

I definitely believe this thought spontaneity is making me a more well-rounded individual, but just like having too much stagnant water around breeds mosquitos, too many priorities can breed stress. Do I want to be completely debt free or do I want to travel the world while I'm young? Is gluten or eating red meat worse for me? With having a limited amount of time and mental energy in one day, this over load of seemingly important ambitions can leave you discombobulated.

There's an argument to be made that you should focus your efforts and narrow your knowledge base to become great at one thing. I don't agree with that. Based on my driving history and interactions with other people in the super market, there are enough simple minded folks out there. Thomas Edison had 1,093 patents in his lifetime. It's hard to argue with Thomas Edison's lifestyle. That's like arguing with America. Japan tried that once.

My motivation pieces to this are:

1. Keep learning. I don't care if you're the spry young age of 70. You don't know everything yet. Finish the fourth quarter strong. Learn something unfamiliar.

2. Keep it fresh. If you're a black belt in hip hop knowledge, diversify and check out both kinds of music, country and western. Same old, same old? More like lame old, lame old. Am I right? Maybe podcasts aren't your thing. Read a book about a subject you have no knowledge of or better yet, that you don't agree with.

Cultivate your random brain intelligence. You'll be a better conversationalist, a better trivia teammate and an overall more rounded personality.

Squirrel side-note: Is calling someone a square essentially saying they're not well-rounded?

New in my life: Labrador retriever puppies are my kryptonite. A sustainable bed and breakfast starts with a few seeds and growing lamp. Mary Jo's cheesecake freezes quite well.

Comments below are welcomed.

Keep smilin'

#goAtlife

Trump Has Great Hair

Maybe you are Mr. or Ms. Internet Surfer, perusing the interwebs, doing your best to dodge typing in a URL incorrectly and stumbling across a website that would make your mother blush.  Maybe you know Joe, and are doing him a solid by reading his musings.  Maybe you heard Joe asked this really cool, moderately good-looking friend of his to guest blog, and wanted to check out what he had to say.  Maybe you thought this website sells coffee. 

Regardless, here you are.  Reading 1,000-plus words about life and living and being a better you and rejection and failure and what’s new in our lives.  You could be laughing or groaning or learning or rolling your eyes or trying to click the “X” button as quickly as you can.  But you’re here and we’ve got your ear and this is the internet, so you read it.

And here Joe and I are.  Writing words into an abyss that over 3 billion people are using at any given time, hoping that 0.0000001% of you will read this think it’s interesting enough to come back to and share with your friends, thus increasing our readership to 0.00000011%.  Success.

So why on earth are you here, supposedly hanging on our every word, trying to find meaning out of the words Joe or I punch into our computers?

I do my best to try and learn something on a weekly, if not daily, basis.  I read the paper on my lunch break, I ask a lot of questions; I’m curious.  The people I come across that frustrate me the most are those that are closed minded and don’t allow themselves to look at something other than the way they’ve crafted it in their head.  That’s the part of the internet that is both a blessing and a curse.  If I think something is one way, a quick google search can affirm my thoughts and provide 100% concrete evidence that my convictions are correct.  A few quick key strokes can propagate any line of thinking, regardless of how intelligent or ignorant.  It can boil each side of the isle down to “you’re with me,” and “hater.”

But what if you’re wrong?  Believe it or not, that is a distinct possibility!  Just because you found a website that says there are 10 inches in a foot, doesn’t mean it’s right!  Just because the article was titled “The Case for Trump’s Great Hair,” it does not make for concrete evidence compared to what the eye can see. 

The partisan approach I mention in the previous paragraphs is really dangerous.  It boils the world down to ones or zeros; black and white; being correct and being a hater.  Despite what you want to believe, there is nuance and grey in nearly all situations…recognizing that, much less seeking it out, allows for more interpretation of whatever it is you’re pondering.

So what is my point here?  It’s that it’s really easy to get tunnel vision, especially on the internet.  Joe and I aren’t necessarily a wealth of knowledge, but reading this may be a source for a different perspective.  Or if nothing else, is a kick in the backside to go seek out a unique perspective.  The people I’ve learned the most from in my short time on planet earth are those that challenged the way I looked at things.  It’s easy to get entrenched with the way you see something, and all of us likely have something we have dug our heels in on.  Seeking out the counterpoints to your counterpoints, though, is a good way to open yourself up to new ideas (as well keeping you from being the jerk troll on Twitter, someone who nobody likes).

New in Travis’ life: Snow just may not be for me; chewing gum in Singapore is illegal; 30 is just a number.