Tom Foolery Fa Dayz

I pulled up on this vehicle going about four-teen miles an hour on the highway the other day. Initially, concerned for my own well being I was upset at the ignorance of the driver. When I passed the vehicle it was the stereotypical old lady.  I felt bad, but my middle finger doesn’t play favorites. That’s a joke. No birds were flipped. But then I mentally pumped my brakes and I tried to step into her orthopedic shoes for a second.

Someone told me the other day that they couldn’t meet up because they were busy. That’s cute. Who isn’t busy these days? We are all as busy as we want to be. And what you make time for is also a matter of choice. So when you tell me you’re busy, what you are really saying to me is “The other things in my life are higher priority than you.” Nothing wrong with that, in fact it probably is true. This is just a Public Service Announcement letting you know how it translates.

There is this trend that has been going on for a few centuries now. It’s a thing people do. They make lists. Lists are great. They help me buy my groceries, send letters, pay bills and bathe myself.  But what I’ve found with my life is that when I’m living by the list, I often lose perspective.  The perspective that if nothing on my list gets crossed off, life is still going to be grand.

A lot of us earthlings are addicted to productivity. I, myself, am a borderline addict. What often happens is we get so focused on accomplishing the tasks at hand, we forget to soak up the season of life we are currently in. You ever hear people talk about how the year has flown by? Or how people say “You’ll be 40 before you know it.” I have. I’ve said those classics before.

The hard part is taking mental notes of where you are in life. Internally scrapbooking the season you’re going through. Or simply appreciating where you are in life, whether it’s a good or bad moment. The easy thing is to do is to keep those blinders on and see how much you can get accomplished before December 31^st. What I’d challenge you to do is take it out of 5^th gear momentarily and appreciate what this crazy life is currently teaching you.

You see when we get to be old, we should be turtling it on the freeway.  Not for our own safety, but at that point we should have learned how to slow down our lives and appreciate our surroundings.  Do I really think that elderly senora remembers her weekly to do list she made when she was 27? Nope. So slow down for a second Dale Jr, be a sponge for a sec. Yep.

New in my life: The snails are doing a great job.  I’m a Leo, I enjoy speechin’ and beachin’. If we all focused on what is important in our lives, there would be a shortage of fishing poles.

Keep on smilin'

Strong Like Bull

I've been a boxer brief man since '94. Comfortable in most situations, mid-way between tighty whities and boxers, plus they say "I'm professional, but I still like to party." Underwear is expensive though. More so for you females. But when you spend your hard earned dollar on your under britches, you're paying for much more than the fabric of our lives.

I didn't buy my own underwear until college. I may be sharing too much now. Anyways, I always favored new underwear as a gift and people around me knew it. Besides the obvious hygienic reasons of a teenager having new skivvies, I believe there was a subliminal lesson I was teaching myself with this wish list oddity. It's that feeling you get when you put on a new pair of Fruit of the Looms. (Or as I preferred, Joe Boxer. Get it?) It's a comfortable confidence brought to you by cotton.

In life, the more you learn, the more knowledge, hopefully, you retain. The more knowledge that you have property rights to, the more confidence you have in a multitude of situations. But if you don't have knowledge or the confidence you need, there's this mindset that I like to employ on a daily basis. I call it the Day One underwear confidence.

A tactic that speech givers use is picturing your audience in their underwear. It helps ease the tension and gives you some confidence you may need. Well I like to turn the under garment table. The cliche that is commonly used for this is "Deliver with confidence whether you have it or not" My personal twist to that is: "Act as if you're wearing Day One underwear." (I've come to learn that for women having a matching bra and underwear gives you that affirmative poise I speak of.)

They say "Strong roots build relationships" and "A house is built from the foundation up." Well a great personal tenacity stems from the caliber and condition of your briefs.

It may sound silly, but if you haven't experienced the self-assured feeling I'm talking about, it's probably time you make a run to your local Wal-Mart for a fresh set of drawers. So whether you're a briefs, panties, boxers, boy shorts, or something new I don't even know about, treat yourself to a new set. Shake your boss' hand like you're rocking some unseasoned Ralph Laurens. Give that presentation like you just went crazy at Victoria Secret. And if you can't, at least walk around with that Day One Underwear confidence. Yep.

If you're looking for some hand made quality assurance here's a fun company: www.meundies.com

New in my life: The peace sign isn't just a salutation, it's a lifestyle. Gingers do have souls. Everyone needs a privacy fence of corn.

Keep on smilin'