We all move at a little different pace…in every sense of the term. I have a little longer legs than my
friend (and Editor in Chief of the Nashvegas Cup of Joe) Mr. Mosley, both as a physical attribute and my marital status. But as a married 29 year old with zero dependents on my W2, I’m still certainly not out in front of our contemporaries.
I (and I assume many of you reading this) are at an awkward time in our existence. The late 20’s tends to become this spectrum of “where are we at in our lives.” It encompasses everything from single and getting front-stage at Lynyrd Skynyrd drunk, to attending your oldest kid’s kindergarten graduation (maybe you’re drunk at that too, I don’t make the rules).
Especially when you leave the space outside of your normal social circle, it can be challenge to find exactly where you fit in. We’ve all probably been in that spot of planning a BBQ around your friend with the newborn, or breaking it to your buddies that you just can’t make the guys trip this weekend because of that thing you promised your wife you’d go to. Don’t mistake me as saying its bad to have kids or get married; it’s just one of those lines we all have to toe given the various stages of life we can all be in at this age.
Your late 20’s/early 30’s becomes a gradual progression of questioning:
“Are you dating anyone?”
“When are you getting married?”
“When are you going to finally have a kid?”
“When are you going to have another kid?”
And so on and so forth. This line of questioning is all the more exacerbated when someone perceives you as behind the curve. Late 20’s: Why aren’t you married yet? Married for 3 years: Why no kids? Early 30’s: SERIOUSLY, HAVE SOME F&%^ING KIDS ALREADY!!!! These are just the things you have to become immune to as we progress through our early adult years. It’s a constant string of expectation to keep “moving on with our lives,” or “growing up,” or something.
But this is all to say that there is not a perfect trajectory that we all climb on our road to a family with 2.5 kids, especially in 2015. People are getting married and having children at an older age, and the
milestones, from an age standpoint, differ from person to person. I have a job where I travel a lot, and my wife has an equally successful career. We have things we want to accomplish and places we want to go before that dynamic is changed by Travis Jr. being brought into this world. Some people are ready to start a family as soon as they get the opportunity. Maybe you want to work and #goAtlife unencumbered by the necessary commitments of a serious relationship. Each are equally valuable tracts in life, and if that’s the path you choose to blaze, then charge ahead with whatever it is you personally want to achieve.
Ultimately, your worth to society is not determined by being labeled a dad or mom, husband or wife, or sole proprietor; you’re simply valued on how good you are at being whatever the hell you want to be. It doesn’t matter if your legs don’t move at the same speed as everyone else, it only matters if you get to where you want to go when you want to get there.
New in Travis’s life: maybe I’ll get back into the blogging game, if Joe will have me; this is going to be my summer of climbing mountains; Japanese TV is a terrible way to kill the early morning jetlag hours.
That’s all from out west--TA
