Dating Darwinism

“You should totally do it.” they said.  I hadn’t been into dating much less dating apps, but with a slight of encouragement, I downloaded the morally shallow and swipe-driven dating technology.

I had a couple friends in town to visit and they thought it would be fun to decide my romantic fate for me by virtually finding the girl of my dreams. Or at least one to meet for an adult beverage while out on the town.

The social landscape on dating apps is a tricky one. You have some people on there that know their selected pictures will get them attention and in turn a false confidence boost they desire. You’ll also get ghosted messaging someone like that. They’re not there for conversation.

The other end of the spectrum are the buyers. They’re on the app for business. Relationship business that is. Saying it nicely, their biological clocks have increased their level of desperation. They like to swipe right.

The third party on these apps are the like-minded. The middle grounded folks. They don’t put much emphasis on love or lust but they will entertain it.  Their contentment isn’t dependent on another human, but pleasant companionship is nice from time to time. It’s what here for anyways right?

In my mind, if I were to find someone dateable through a social medium, it would have to be someone who didn’t care the outcome. Someone that is okay with the status of single.  Too often people translate single as not being able to find a partner. In reality being single allows us to individually develop a healthy soul before we try to navigate compatibility. Some of the best reading advice I’ve gotten was from a book called “Scary Close” by Donald Miller, in it he says “A healthy relationship is when two healthy individuals mutually agree to be together.”

As I’ve gained responsibility I’ve lost hair. That’s okay. If I go bald I’ll consider myself an experienced troubadour.  I call them my Rally Alleys.  But as the Rogaine commercials gain emphasis and my peers continue to mark off the life checkpoints, I certainly realize the importance of finding permanent life company.

Do I want to get married and create offspring? Yes. Is achieving that going to complete me as an individual? I don’t believe so.

I feel like I was just asking for an extra popsicle after soccer practice and now I’m saving up for a down payment for something adults buy. We live in chapters and life is a speed-reader. Be conscious that your situation will change soon.  As I get older, I believe more and more that the Good Lord laughs at our 10 and 20-year plans. Place value in things you want to achieve but don’t dwell on the future and certainly realize you don’t have that much control of your addendum.

I don’t condone using dating apps, but I also don’t advise going by the same life to-do list that is molded as success.  Do life on your own time. If you’re single, take your time dating, swipe left. If you just got married, take some time before making a junior. Travel and enjoy each other. If you’re retired, take a deep breath and enjoy a sunrise. It’s all a moment. Yep.

New in my life: I generally vote for the presidential candidate I'd like to have a beer with. Drinking alone this go around.  Restaurants are great, but so is a farm.  Debt? Never heard of her. 

Keep smilin'

#goAtLIFE