Stay Sassy San Diego

The horn on my truck sounds like a faint wounded squirrel. It's an insecurity of mine. But the most common time I need my horn is when I get irritated that I have to wait 10 seconds instead of 5 seconds at a stop light.  There is a deeper issue here than Susan in the Ford Focus in front of me checking her text messages.

Gym, work, sleep. Repeat. Weekends are for chores and socializing, right? Whether you're a 24-year-old socialite or whether you're a parent of two, we too often overbook ourselves. In between beers with the boys, to-do lists, parental responsibilities, church, seeing family, watching football, we often forget to take a day off within the 7 we have allotted.

Our umbilical cord to be connected to people at all hours of the day is partially to blame here. I recently started living alone and as much as I enjoy being around other humans, it's been great to actually experience quiet again. Giving myself a chance to slow down, turn off the music/tv and let myself think. On the other hand, to the lonely and overthinkers, silence can be terrifying. I've written about this before, but it's how you use silence that makes a difference whether it's a beneficial or detrimental part of your life. But it's also necessary to avoid social exhaustion.

Do I catch myself wondering "Do dogs actually speak Spanish and not English?" from time to time? The answer would be yes, but more often than not, the quiet gives me a time to seriously reflect on my life direction and what I actually want.

I suppose you could boil it down to simply controlling your thoughts, but on a simpler level, just make time for silence at some point of your day. Be it 5 minutes of coffee enjoyment before you go to work, starting Saturday reading on the porch for an hour or after putting the kids to bed sitting on the couch without the tv on, give your brain a second to actually process the day. Find your spot.

So as much as I want to save myself the seconds and blare my clarinet-level horn at people wasting time intersections, I'm learning to just enjoy a brief moment of solitude and have an extra moment of healthy thoughts instead. Yep.

New in my life: Can't beat cedar. The time is right when the frost is on the pumpkin. Yeti season keeps me hydrated. New suit goofin'.

#goAtLIFE @goatlifeco

Huggies Not Druggies

I spent a whole weekend in a household with a baby. Said baby was just over a year old. Walking but definitely not durable yet.

You learn a lot in that environment. Mainly how to walk on your tip toes before 7am and that Aldi sells a baby food line. The other thing required of you is to be on baby watch at all times. Even if it's not your "turn" or "responsibility," the subliminal question of "Where's the baby?" is always present.

Nowadays we've gotten pretty advanced with our kiddo safety. Baby gates, wall outlet protectors, leashes etc. Personally, I think riding in the front seat unconstrained as a little chico established my free spirit side.

On baby watch duty, one of the key locations to beware of are the stairs. And rightfully so. As a youngster is learning how to navigate up and down the stairs, they need a chaperone to redirect them should any hiccups or imbalances arise. That got me thinking, in comparison to the infant's height, that's a pretty large obstacle to climb. To put it in an adult's scope, that may be equivalent to us hopping over a chain-link fence or getting onto a rooftop. Achievable with mild assistance.

In life, we're faced with the same scenario. We all come across things that socially, physically or morally gets in between us and our goals. For many of us, especially us guys, we think the best plan of action is to figure it out ourselves. Problem solve and then carry on. While I do embrace the problem-solving ability, I think we need to humble ourselves and realize that a helping hand is okay.

Maybe it's a shrink, maybe it's God or some version of religion. Or perhaps it's simply a community aka your friend group. Whatever your source of relief, don't let your pride keep you from seeking that healthy and needed help with whatever hardship you're facing.

Just like the little tyke climbing to his destination with a spotter to keep him upright, we often times need someone in life to help keep us morally balanced and onward to where we want/need to go. Yep.

New in my life: A cool byproduct of Juan's tomatoes being taxed at the border may be a garden eh? Prevent zone defense wins championships I think?  This chapter looks Brite.

Keep smilin'

Full Moons are a Bit Cheeky

Why wouldn't rice cakes be next to the rice? I realize in the scheme of things, I could have worse worries, but every two weeks when I need my fix, Wanda at the grocery has to tell me they're in aisle 6 with the crackers. Just a cracker wandering down the cracker aisle. Straight up.

Upon my decent of the rice cakes, I find my options: certified organic, cheddar, caramel, lightly salted and original. In that moment I flash back to the documentary I watched the night before of a man chasing an antelope in the African safari in hopes of feeding his village.  I go with original flavor.

Why do I have 5 choices of rice cakes? Because I've earned the right? Because I filed my taxes on time? Because I support my local Girl Scout troop? Good karma? Nah. I just happened to be born in a specific geographical region of the world. Lucky me.

I was watching a captivating Patsy Kline documentary the other night and they took a short break in programming where I had the option to call in and donate dollars to a lady wearing a headset in the background. I flipped to the next channel and the preacher man was telling me to tithe my money to avoid the misery of purgatory. Most stoplights I feel the guilt of not carrying cash to give to the homeless selling newspapers.  We have social influences literally and figuratively on every corner.

Amongst our social medias, political rhetoric and general news of our day, it's difficult to really know what to deem as important. Cat videos are a good start, but to say we have options is an understatement.

So where do you focus your attention and money? With all the noise, there is a certain level of stress when attempting to make the correct conclusions all day long. What if you screw up? What if you text the wrong response to bae? Life goes on.

I propose that there is only one initial decision you need to make when you climb out of bed. The decision that you are going to happy today no matter what happens to you. Whether you get dumped, fired from work, in a car wreck or a bird poops on you. Shake it off and keep on keepin' on.  Program your brain to default to cloud nine despite any shade (negativity) thrown your way.  Because if you live in the same culture I do, you're going to have a run-in with something/someone trying to bring you down.

Amidst all of the social exhaustion with in our daily routines, this choice to stay on the sunny side is almost always going to be the correct plan of action.  Ensure your mindset knowing you're going to be smiling when your head hits the pillow later that night.

So as you are sitting in that unnecessary traffic while the sun comes up tomorrow, decide that regardless of how your day unfolds, that you are going to be a positive human come days end. It's easier than choosing the best flavor of rice cake.

New in my life: David Bowie sings a song about changes. It takes about 3 weeks off of social media for people to send out the search party. My inner hipsta is kaleing it.

Keep smilin'

JM

Make Up is the Original Photo Filter

Looking at your cell phone during every break in life has become a national past time. I’m not judging, I do it regularly. Commercial break, check twitter. Bored in a meeting, flash through Instagram. Sitting at a stoplight, check my texts. It’s a very easy way to fill the minute or two gaps in time and there is never a lack of something to look at.

I quit facebook almost two years ago now, and every day feel like I get a pang of desire to start cutting out the other #socmeds (social medias). My main reason was when I looked at facebook and asked myself, “What is this doing for me?”. Sure, it’s great to check in on old friends, remember birthdays, and check to make sure your ex found someone with a larger belt size than you. But in the end I found it making me feel divisiveness towards people who didn’t agree with my politics, habitually complained about this or that, or only posted about some Ponzi scheme makeup business they got into.

More importantly, all these platforms can leave you feeling inadequate…and I would venture to guess that incompetent feeling may be the reason you posted something once upon a time (again, guilty as charged). That perfect picture of you sipping drinks on the beach; the well-filtered photo of your kids and spouse next to the perfectly lit Christmas tree. You crop and filter and adjust to capture the best in the frame and you can block out all the disarray on the periphery. And when your followers or friends or online acquaintances scroll past your picture we all want them to think, “Wow, they’ve really got it made.”

With so much of the passing minutes and seconds taken up with the quick scroll through the well-curated social media feeds, it can all be a little overwhelming. The main point being is in a time when most of the information we absorb is from the Twitbooks and Instasnaps (#getoffmylawn!), it’s easy to get pulled from reality where things are chaotic and disorganized and unfiltered. We've made it a habit to view people through the lens of their social media persona. More and more I find myself having to make the conscious decision to step back and realize that everyone else’s offline life is likely much the same as mine: generally happy but not perfect.

I’m not one to make a lot of New Year’s resolutions, but if I can better separate myself from my phone and online connections in 2017, and make more time for my wife, dog, friends, mailman in those trivial minutes and seconds in life, I’ll consider it a success.

New in my life: my next house will have a carpenter’s workshop, real trees are the only trees, winter can end anytime now.

That's all from out west- TA

This rendition of NVCJ is brought to you by Travis Arp. Trav is a well-accomplished writer, dwelling from the greater Denver area. His interests include craft beer, hiking and appreciating a good cut of meat. (No joke, he has his doctorate in meat sciences.)