Social SPF

I don't know for sure, but I'd assume that part of the "Mothering 101" course is purchasing a 5-gallon bucket of thick sunscreen and then heavily baptizing the baby with protective lotion before any outings into the extreme sun. 

Going to the dermatologist in my 30's, I feel the need to have a justification for the sun damage they'll find on my shoulders. Usually, I'll leave it to: "High school was a strange time am I right?" to which the doctor blissfully ignores the questioning statement. 

In my timeline, I was the most flippant with my sun care in grade school and high school purely from the lack of knowledge that the fiery ball of gases above is both a life provider and ageing antagonist. Lot's of exposure as a chico. These days I'm the kid in the pool that's swimming with his t-shirt on and wearing a sombrero. Que pasa? 

Depending on your risk tolerance, the ebbs and flows of life will provide you with chapters where you are in a brand new environment learning all new habits and blindly seeking out social circles. Maybe it's a new city, a new romantic relationship, a new job or all of the above. The brain is faced with a whole new equation to digest and solve by creating habits that make our lives more efficient. 

The good Lord willing, you start making friends, you rise to a higher income level and life gets comfier the longer you spend in your new found bubble. That's the ideal, but as we know, even though we prefer to stay in our bubble-wrapped routine our scenarios get thrown wrenches. 

As turbulence occurs, you may be able to course correct and return to your euphoric world, but there are always going to be happenings throughout life where your brain gets exposed to unexpected emotions. How balanced and healthy you are in your maturity will be the difference in how you respond and the after-effects of that response.  

I would argue that it's actually good to be exposed to certain emotions in moderation at some point in order to learn how to process them. Feelings like loneliness, self-doubt, and anxiety are part of our tenure here and it's important to learn what to do when they arise when you're without a support system. 

This may sound out of the norm as most people would say to lean on your support system when you're going through those lonesome, unconfident, anxiety-ridden chapters. While I agree that system is nice to have, I'd encourage you to do some self-work in learning how to get through those emotions in a healthy way without friends, family, or technology. 

When you get lonely do you pick up your phone to scroll through an app or text someone or do you sit there and figure out what exactly is the cause of this temporary loneliness? When you get anxious do you subliminally grab a bag of chips and or beer or do you take a few deep breathes and remind yourself that this too shall pass? You get my point. We condition ourselves over time in our cozy situations to avoid being exposed to certain raw emotions. We build a communal social SPF. 

You can go through your whole duration and simply lean on family, friends, and social media to push through those uncomfortable feelings, but if you're looking for self-improvement, my message is that it's good to be exposed to those emotions from time to time without the normal social crutches. Leave the social SPF at home for a bit. 

New in my life: Enjoying this bothersome time. Responsibly being plane adventurous. Canoes, hardwoods, front porches and power tools. 

Keep smilin'

JM

Kidneys & Livers are the Real Heroes

High School letter jackets are the antithesis of the "everyone gets a trophy" era and possibly the reason that over indulging reward system blossomed in the first place. In order to even get a jacket, you first had to earn a patch that you could ahere to it. 

I wished more people had asked me about my jacket when I wore it back in the day, but then again maybe they did. That was before I knew how to talk to adults. It wasn't littered with acolades, just a simple few I could lean my budding confidence on when presented to a cute girl. 

I often listen to a lot of sermons across a few different denominations and generally they all have great messages, but one that really has stuck with me over a handful of years is based around the concept of "Your Story". The preacher's premise is a simple one: you're going to have to look back on your life at some point and tell your story. Maybe it's to your kids, grandchildren or simply on a first date with your future spouse. What do you want that story to sound like? 

His angle is one of recalibrating your moral compass, and while that alone is worth consideration, I like to approach the same message but from a more morbid basis. 

There was a neat practice where my great grandma and my grandmother all sat down in front of a video camera and their children asked them a list of questions about their life. If you're ever wondering if your tear ducts work, watching those videos of past loved ones is a great check point. The recordings are are great reminder because it taps into the wisdom of generations and it also calls to mind you that your actions matter in the long run. 

You should aspire to mean enough to a group of people that they will want to record your story someday. I'm currently growing my mustache out and trying to find a coat made from a buffalo hide for said hypothetical future opportunity. 

I'll be vulnerable and admit that these thoughts naturally culminate as I get closer to the ascent of the peak of the biological bell curve. Saving for retirement and paying your bills on time are great necessary habits one should create, but gosh I hope you're planning your next adventure at the same time. Make your story an action thriller worth reading. 

The options are endless for what kind of patches you put on your life letterjacket, but you have to take action and earn them first. Yep. 

New in my life: The Uncledom knows where salami comes from. 1889 whiskey is worth the hangover. Fly fishing and butternut squash feed families. 

Keep smilin'

JM

Re-Ligare Por Favor

When I'm in the woods and a squirrel starts barking at me, I appreciate his or her moral obligation to their species. 

I'm likely giving squirrels way too much credit here, they're probably just antagonists, but if that individual varmint was concerned solely on their survival, they wouldn't hang around and make a commotion. My thoughts are they would scour back into their den. For the subliminal sake of alerting their neighbors of danger, they strap on a cape and bark at the presumed predator. Barking for the greater good of the squirrel kingdom. 

You may see this transition coming already or you may have stopped reading by now, but with a political season, pandemic and social turmoil upon us and at the same time everyone having a beacon to blast their message at their fingertips, I think there is a simple lesson to be learned from our furry little friends. 

I've written about Fillers vs. Drainers before. I've also written about Chicken Little before. What I'm trying to convey here funnels back to the concept that each of us has a choice when using our words. We can be sheep and regurgitate what the big media outlets tell us or we can bring positivity to our interactions with each other. 

I'm not political by any means, but I know there is a lot of talk about politicians not being bi-partisan and a country divided. Don't pass the buck and point fingers about that if you yourself are divisional in your talk throughout the day. If you start a sentence with "I really don't understand how they believe.....", then take a second and try to think through it before posting or making an absolutist statement in a discussion. It will add validity to your opinions. 

Ultimately what I'm trying to get across atop this soapbox is that we are human first and political affiliation second. If you allow your political opinions to guide or affect what relationships you maintain, I would argue you're living in a divisional bubble. 

Our species doesn't exist because of politics or who lives in a white house, it's based on looking out for your neighbor and loving up on people. 

Final statement, when your innate senses tell you danger is near, use your barking for the greater good, not to try to get your team to win.  Yep. 

New in my life: Long winters are challenging and good for mental physique. Missing mast crops and field edges. Quality time + words of recognition + sweet and spicy = 2. 

Keep smilin'

JM

Manifest Destiny, pt. 5, For the Thrill of It

“To those devoid of imagination a blank place on the map is a useless waste; to others, the most valuable part.” - Aldo Leopold

I have a book list to read on my phone that I won't get to before I die and I don't have a clue what most of them are about. I enjoy the thrill of going into a novel blind. 

After my remote getaway in Northeastern Washington I felt the pull of finishing the job of viewing the Pacific Ocean. I have a friend who lives in Tacoma, WA so I decided that it makes good sound sense to check in on him. One thing I learned is that Central Washington is a dry, flat high desert with not much around but a reservoir now and then.

In Tacoma, we spent a couple days talking about elk hunting and catching up like pals do. I didn't love Tacoma, but I'm sure there are nice people and places there that I didn't explore.

Continuing the tour, I moseyed my way down to Portland to meet up with another long time amigo over burritos and beer. I stayed in a vibey, renovated hotel called the White Eagle above an old saloon in downtown Portland. The rooms were actually at one point the brothel portion of the business....

The atmosphere and current conditions of Portland seemed pretty tumultuous so I carried on south to Bend, OR while stopping at some recommended hiking sights along the way.

Bend is a vibrant town despite the current pandemic. I loved that tourists and locals alike seemed to be using and gathering in the downtown area that is full of breweries (there's a theme here in my travels) and good food. You don't see that with all downtowns. Then again, not all cities were created equal.

Following a night in Bend, I decided to steer the ship back in the northeast direction. So here I am and it's probably a good point in the story to let you know that I've taken my talents to Missoula, MT.

It may seem spontaneous but it really hasn't been. Moving west has always been an intrigue of mine, I just needed to confirm that my suspicions were true before pulling the trigger. While the past 4 blogs may make it seem like a flippant and easy decision, it hasn't been. I think before someone has a spouse or children, we're always wrestling with the decision to make life choices based on the "missing people" versus personal happiness emotions. It's a matter of being self-disciplined and taking the time to prioritize ultimately what's the most important to you. We're only here for 80ish years. Pursue your happy.

Loneliness and self doubt I've found, are similar to nausea. They surface and it sucks, but will eventually dissipate. What our culture isn't used to is letting these feelings run their course and learning to process them like adults. What we've grown accustom to is numbing them through social media, connectivity and current events. 

To give you some out of the ordinary details, I'm working as a server at a fun brewery along with the Farmers Market on weekends.  I'm letting my interests lead me to financial gain and muffling any pride when evaluating jobs. While the wildfires are making it smokey this time of year, I'm loving the city, proximity to recreational activities and general outdoor commonalities I have with folks here. 

The hardest part has been missing the comfort and enjoyment of my established friends and family, but I'm better learning how to reinvent myself both professionally and personally and I'm enjoying the uncomfortable process of that challenge. Just like my book list, I'm learning as I go. 

If you're feeling the claustrophobia of the city and current events, just know that you can get out of the city limits, even if it's for a weekend. I'd recommend it. 

New in my life: ZooTown Cup of Joe just doesn't have the same ring. Deer B tags and chili. Quads and Cavs are Division 3 status.  

Keep smilin'

JM

Manifest Destiny, pt. 4, Subconscious Pivot

"There are some who can live without wild things and some who cannot." - Aldo Leopold

Bozeman was the sexy dot on the map and I created a good amount of personal anticipation to get to know the city. I still didn't have a ton of expectations given my lack of research to this trip, but at this point I was a social sponge and ready to make friends.

I find it interesting that for a lot of people it takes getting uncomfortable and a raw form of lonely for us to really treat other humans the way we're supposed to. I've loved reverting back to the excitement of meeting strangers. I started making conversations with everyone: barista, grocery store clerk, people in the parks, stray dogs, you name it, I genuinely wanted to learn about them and connect on a human to human level. When padded in the comfort of your normal routine, friends and family, you lose the hunger of making new acquaintances and generally we're not as eager to be our nicest self.

There is a lot of talk about how Bozeman is outgrowing it's authenticity and investors are driving up housing prices, and while that may be true, as a transient, I loved the energy of the city. This is where I started to get a taste of the local food scene. I'm not speaking of simply trying a bunch of new restaurants but more so how the local farms supply the food network. Referencing the previous blog, after a few weeks of introspection, I realized my love of sustainability on a community and personal level. Years of growing a garden, recycling and sourcing my own wild game, I started to allow my interest to pursue and learn about that world in detail.

  

I stayed at the retro Lewis & Clark Hotel. It's a must in Bozeman. 

 

I timed this trip to accidentally be quite floral

After hitting a healthy amount of breweries and going on enough regimented hikes, I decided to make a weekend of Missoula which is a couple hours Northwest up the Bitteroot Valley and uniquely scenic.

 

 

I was still flexing my camping muscle while exploring the cities

Going back in chronology, when I was staying in Gardiner I would post up in a quaint local coffee shop called the Tumbleweed that is full of used furniture for seating and bookshelves full of Western themed novels. The reason this information is important is that I met a couple there that mentioned they lived in Missoula and left me their number should I end up in that neck of the woods.

After having drinks with my two newest friends in downtown Missoula I started to brainstorm what a Western life would look like and how that fit into my scheme of newfound priorities.

Missoula is a small college town of 72,000 that is equipped with a large amount of dive bars, top notch breweries and great hiking 10 minutes away in every direction. On top of that, there is a big outdoors industry that exists there and one of the best farmers markets in the country. I was smitten.

 

I took notes, wandered the city and carefully inspected each brewery to get a feel for the persona that identifies as a local.

Jumping back in time to my time in Gardiner, MT again, the couple I stayed with there mentioned they were going to a remote lake in Northeastern Washington near the Canadian border that was owned by another sibling of the family and that I was welcome to join for the week of the 4th of July. Researching on the Google machine I discovered is was only a handful of hours driving distance away so I decided Deep Lake, Washington is a great place to celebrate our independence.

Driving there I got to meet the great mining town of Wallace, ID and drive by Lake Coeur d'Alene. Both recommended stops. Some of this area of the country I had been before but only via tour bus on the way to our next show back in my music days. This time I really was able to pioneer each area.

 

Deep Lake is a magical place but funny enough the lake isn't that deep. The lake is only 66 acres and holds around 60 cabins segregated to a North and South end. My favorite part is that there is no cell service and the only internet available is spotty satellite internet. What this combination of variables creates is tight knit community of neighbors where the only form of entertainment are small social gatherings. Additionally out of the norm, at these gatherings, there was no fomo (fear of missing out) and no one was incessantly checking their phones. It was fantastic to meet all walks of life and be a part of the family for a brief week. Conversationally, we figured out all of life's problems one beer at a time.

 

 

The lake is surrounded by thousands of acres of forest land and ancient cattle farms so elk, bear, eagle, osprey etc sitings are common. 

For the Forth of July, a number of cabins around the lake invested in their own personal cache of fireworks and were determined to out-pyro the others. It was a special setting with the background of mountains and water while watching a myriad of explosives from all around the lake while sitting next to a campfire. Life was good.

New in my life: The stache is two weeks away. Don't buy stock in Greyhound. Who really knows what a huckleberry is anyways?

Keep smilin'

JM

Manifest Destiny, pt. 3, Oro y Plata

“Do what you can, with what you have, where you are.” - Teddy Roosevelt

I learned about Gardiner, MT from a buddy who said his sister and her husband lived there and that I was welcome to crash in their spare bedroom. Since they were strangers to me, I of course said yes.

Gardiner is a small town that sits just outside of the North entrance of Yellowstone and it's so nearby that the park rangers serve as the police. The most notable aspect of Gardiner is the welcoming of the elk in the city. Through years of habituation, they have no fear of city life. They are city elk that like their coffee slow drip and sustainably sourced.

With the park in the neighborhood, the high desert city naturally get the same wildlife and tourists. What was originally going to be a 2 day stay, with my host's convincing, turned my stay into a week long base camp to explore Yellowstone and the area more thoroughly.

 

 

 

I made a one-night camping trip to Big Sky, MT and a hike up to the Spanish Peaks. It was a chilly good time.

 

 

Spanish Peaks and a snowman in June

This timeframe of the trip also began my decent into the area which John Mayer made famous called Paradise Valley. Historically, Gardiner and a lot of the other small townships were established as mining communities in the early 1900's. What comes with mining communities? Homey, grungy, authentic saloons of course:

  

The last picture is Blue Goose Saloon. Sadly, it burned down a few weeks after I was there.

Hiking became and has become a critical free health staple and pastime. Lungs, legs and heart pumping. Yep.

 

This is an old abandoned "survival" off-grid camp that I hiked to that kids could enroll to back in the day

 

Snuck inside for a creepy look around

After a week of adventuring and coffee shopping, I carried on with my trip. Further Northwest through Paradise Valley again with Bozeman in my sights.

Overlooking Paradise Valley, MT

   

Speaking frankly, at this point in my trip, camping alone was wearing on me. I love the smell of a campfire and supreme solitude as much as the next Bernstein Bear, but there are only so many solo nights I can do before I want the camaraderie and conversation of a friend. I realized that I forgot to pack a dog. 

Learning this, my exploring and planning started to coincide around cities and include Western friends I hadn't seen in awhile. Another thing I'll note is that it took me about 3 weeks into disconnecting to really start brainstorming outside of my normal inventory of thoughts. It's not just a break in setting that was important, but a consistent habitual break in schedule. I made my brain be okay with not having a list for the week and a successful day could simply be a hike and reading a book. Productivity is a helluva drug.

Bozeman, breweries and beyond in the next installment. 

New in my life: I'll take velcro shoes and training wheels por favor. I believe in Santa Clause and the end of covid. Today is my birthday. 

Keep smilin'

JM