Sunday, December 20, 2020

Social SPF

I don't know for sure, but I'd assume that part of the "Mothering 101" course is purchasing a 5-gallon bucket of thick sunscreen and then heavily baptizing the baby with protective lotion before any outings into the extreme sun. 

Going to the dermatologist in my 30's, I feel the need to have a justification for the sun damage they'll find on my shoulders. Usually, I'll leave it to: "High school was a strange time am I right?" to which the doctor blissfully ignores the questioning statement. 

In my timeline, I was the most flippant with my sun care in grade school and high school purely from the lack of knowledge that the fiery ball of gases above is both a life provider and ageing antagonist. Lot's of exposure as a chico. These days I'm the kid in the pool that's swimming with his t-shirt on and wearing a sombrero. Que pasa? 

Depending on your risk tolerance, the ebbs and flows of life will provide you with chapters where you are in a brand new environment learning all new habits and blindly seeking out social circles. Maybe it's a new city, a new romantic relationship, a new job or all of the above. The brain is faced with a whole new equation to digest and solve by creating habits that make our lives more efficient. 

The good Lord willing, you start making friends, you rise to a higher income level and life gets comfier the longer you spend in your new found bubble. That's the ideal, but as we know, even though we prefer to stay in our bubble-wrapped routine our scenarios get thrown wrenches. 

As turbulence occurs, you may be able to course correct and return to your euphoric world, but there are always going to be happenings throughout life where your brain gets exposed to unexpected emotions. How balanced and healthy you are in your maturity will be the difference in how you respond and the after-effects of that response.  

I would argue that it's actually good to be exposed to certain emotions in moderation at some point in order to learn how to process them. Feelings like loneliness, self-doubt, and anxiety are part of our tenure here and it's important to learn what to do when they arise when you're without a support system. 

This may sound out of the norm as most people would say to lean on your support system when you're going through those lonesome, unconfident, anxiety-ridden chapters. While I agree that system is nice to have, I'd encourage you to do some self-work in learning how to get through those emotions in a healthy way without friends, family, or technology. 

When you get lonely do you pick up your phone to scroll through an app or text someone or do you sit there and figure out what exactly is the cause of this temporary loneliness? When you get anxious do you subliminally grab a bag of chips and or beer or do you take a few deep breathes and remind yourself that this too shall pass? You get my point. We condition ourselves over time in our cozy situations to avoid being exposed to certain raw emotions. We build a communal social SPF. 

You can go through your whole duration and simply lean on family, friends, and social media to push through those uncomfortable feelings, but if you're looking for self-improvement, my message is that it's good to be exposed to those emotions from time to time without the normal social crutches. Leave the social SPF at home for a bit. 

New in my life: Enjoying this bothersome time. Responsibly being plane adventurous. Canoes, hardwoods, front porches and power tools. 


Keep smilin'


JM

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