I'll Take a Raincheck on That Pair of Pants

Irony is a beautiful thing. I live and look for it everyday. I think the Big Man upstairs put irony on this spinning ecosystem to teach us lessons in an innocently humorous way. Now irony is funny as long as we stay positive about things. The concept I find the most ironic lately is the pressure for people my age to get married. Now, believe me, I'm not pressured to get married. I just see some people fret about it. The reason the idea is ironic is that simultaneously the divorce rate has never been higher. Hmmmm.....

As a disclaimer to my friends whom are happily married, I want to say that I am extremely proud of the fact that you found the right equal (TB, MK...etc). I mean, if you guys can find someone to marry you, that gives me so much hope. Haha. Thats a joke. I hope you are offended. No it's just that in my current personal situation, a dog is too much commitment. That leads alot of women to quickly throw the "commitment issues" card on the table in my direction. Do it. The only reason more women don't have commitment issues is because of that little clock inside their bodies that has a monthly alarm screaming....CHILDREN!!! Just another reason I am proud to pee standing up, outside, and with my shirt off thanking God I am a man. Do I sound chauvanistic? Yep. Have I offended some women with the previous sentences? Yep. Do I drink Busch Light? Yep. Sorry, I need to just go watch Gladiator, Braveheart and 300 and get over my man pride.

Speaking of the matter, I've heard people say that persons with commitment issues also have decision making issues. That's wrong. In fact, to prove it, I have decided not to commit.

Back to the marriage idea...I think it's great that people go looking for a spouse. But I don't even know how that works. I mean, I've heard of shopping around for a wife, but I can't relate to that. Mainly because when I shop I love me a good deal and I normally look extensively through the clearance rack. So as far as dating goes then, should I steer clear of TJ Maxx? They're still good clothes, they just didn't sell well at other stores. (For those of you who know the pair of pants analogy, this fits in perfectly. I just can't explain it because that's secretive guy code) And when shopping at Express, I think it's great looking stuff, I just can't justify spending that much money. Because in reality, Target's clothes last just as long and I look just as good. (Pause) Let the analogy sink in. Bueno.

This spell of words may seem anti-marital. On the contrary, I think marriage is a wonderful thing. Thats why I will eventually think I'll do it.... once. I feel that as long as you don't make a habit of getting married, it's a great vocation. So to all my fellow tumbleweeds.... Salud! No pressure.

New in my life: I bought two boxes of girl scout cookies. Do the boyscouts still sell popcorn? Really? I bet they are getting demolished by the girl scouts in sales. Boyscouts really need to re-think their marketing plan....

Keep smilin'

JM