Last time we chatted, I said “This is my year for climbing mountains.” I’m not remotely enough of a deep thinker for this to be a metaphor for anything. I simply planned on doing a lot of hiking this summer in the beautiful Rocky Mountains.
Guess what? I failed. Its nearly the end of August, and I’ve only gone on 2 hikes of notable length. This has distinctly not been my year to climb mountains.
Sure, I’m disappointed. Making plans and falling short is never a great feeling; whether that be in your day-to-day (not eating that donut for breakfast, not googling “Girls of the SEC” on your work computer) or achieving something you set out to do more long term (losing weight, saving money, meeting that girl you once saw when you googled “Girls of the SEC” on your work computer).
For better or worse though, failure is a part of life. You won’t get an A+ on every test, you won’t get hired for every job you apply for, and as Mr. Mosley so aptly pointed out in his last post, you’ll get dropped on your back side a few times in the dating game before you settle on one for good. I know this is starting to sound like my version of the “Van Down by the River” speech, but there is some positive to be found in all this (stick with me here…).
Going back to Joe’s previous musings, a failed relationship is a good time to self-reflect. Maybe Pizza Hut wasn’t a great place for date night. The “Loose Those Last 10 Pounds!” book wasn’t a great birthday present. All are things you can look back on and consciously decide to improve upon when you decide to take another swing at it.
Rejection, though, is fundamentally different than failure. There can be someone better, more qualified or more compatible in the realm of relationships and employment. But not achieving a goal is an individualized process. While there are outside factors that may affect you, completing the process is still your responsibility alone. But the reflection process is still very much the same.
The great thing about both failures and rejections, though, is that for every failed outcome there is an alternative. Yes, you may have loved Suzie in the 8th grade, but things end for a reason (plus she has 6 cats now and is still rocking the perm). You really thought you were Vice President material when you applied for that job out of college, too. But everyone finds their place and all roads lead to somewhere. Sure I didn’t hike all the mountains I wanted to this summer, but I’ve shaved a few strokes off my golf game and have completed some projects around me house. Little victories.
Now I wouldn't take “failure” out of your vocabulary, because you can legitimately fail at things (tests, work assignments, pull-ups). But in some instances maybe “achieving the alternative” is a better way to direct your thought. And sometimes the alternative is something better that you never anticipated, or was a goal that you previously determined unattainable. Maybe Joe and I have sounded overly optimistic in these last two posts, but if you can’t find the good in your situation just because it’s not what you expected…it’ll be a long day, brother.
New in Travis’s life: don’t underestimate the importance of a well-tended back lawn and a comfy porch chair, I’m enjoying seeing more of my city from two wheels.
That’s all from out west--
TA
#goAtlife
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